The Somewhat Normal Life Of Li Gin (0.5 Draft) Page #4

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Bill (walking in): I’m annoying!

Li:
You’ve got that right.

Bill (bringing in 4 boxes of 24 rip-off sprites): You like sprite? Or, Lemon-Lime Maroon?

Sara:
What?

Li:
What does that even mean?

Bill (shrugging his shoulders as he puts the box on his chair): If I knew I probably wouldn’t have bought it.

Li:
Why?

Bill:
I don’t like the word Maroon.

Li:
Why?

Sara:
His least favorite band is Maroon 5.

Li:
Oh, Why is that? I--

Bill:
They’re a less emo/pop version of Fall Out Boy! It’s disgusting!

Sara:
They’re not even similar!

Li:
Yeah!

Bill:
Yes they are! The song Fix is the same song as Dance, Dance!

Sara:
That’s Coldplay’s song! And they’re not similar whatsoever!

Bill (as he pulls a candy stick out and starts eating it): Wait, Is Maroon 5 the dudes that made that Cardi B song?

We cut to a guy doing his laundry, He is coughing, and he then pulls out his phone, and has a text from Bill.

Bill (his text):
Hey, Look man, It’s been years hasn’t it? I know you hate me for what happened, considering Sam was your ex, but man, You were my best friend!

Lo (as he calls): I told you to stop.

Bill (picks up):
Aye! Lo! Lo! Lo! Lo!

Lo:
What do you want?

Bill:
I got you a ticket to Florida man! Come and visit!

Lo:
Look, I’m busy--

Bill:
Come on! These were, uhhh, uhhh, Okay they were on sale, They’re the bad airline--

Lo:
Ugh, First you call me wanting to hang out, Second, You buy me tickets to the worst airport in the history airports in the history of airports existing in the history of things existing in the history of--

Bill:
You’re my best friend dude! You gotta visit me and Becky, and Li.

Lo:
Who’s Li?

Bill:
You never met Li Gin-- Oh wait nevermind, He’s from Washington.

Lo:
Yes, And I’m Lo Tuck, I’m from Tennessee-- Oh wait nevermind, YOU’RE A BAD FRIEND!

Lo throws his phone on the dryer, and he also bangs his hand on it.

Lo (as he jumps up and around): AGH! MY HAND, MY HAND, MY HAND!

We cut to Lo getting in his car, he bangs his head on the steering wheel, and calls Sam.

Sam:
Hey, Lo. What’s going on?

Lo:
Your ex called.

Sam:
Who? Dave?

Lo:
No, Bill.

Sam:
Oh, That kid that bullied him in high school--

Lo:
You dated him, fool!

Sam:
What did he want?

Lo:
He wanted me to come to Florida so we could hang out.

Sam:
Ah. Did he invite me or something?

Lo:
No, God no. After that breakup, I don’t think he ever wants to see you again.

Sam:
He cheated on me! Let’s make that abundantly clear. He was great, and then, Well--

Lo:
And somehow you framed him for tax fraud, and he got arrested, DESPITE THERE NOT BEING ANY PROOF!

Sam:
Ugh, Is this why you called? You certainly didn’t try to stand up for him.

Lo:
You are a liar! You lied to me! Saying we’ll have a life together and crap! BULL!

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