The Small Woman in Grey Page #3

out into the wilderness together

would mean that you would get to put your dick

near something other than your own right hand.

Firstly, screw you Stacey!

Secondly, seriously Laura? How

desperate do you think I am?

I don't! I just thought

you two might get along

I thought you said you

spoke to him? Awkward!

Yeah, you're telling me!

Look, he's just a nice guy

I thought you'd like him,

I thought we'd all like him.

I'll vouch for Loz, he's a good guy

lives at the end of my road and

throws the most awesome house parties

known him for years

and I so knew he was gay before he came out

Well, he turned me down once, so I assumed

Yeah, that was definitely it

So am I the only one that doesn't know him?

You've never even mentioned him before

Yeah well we weren't friends

until I was doing that

that stupid Paul Michaels

remember?

[rope creaking]

Anyway, he was best

friends with psycho Richard

who now is Laura's every so

lovely and sweet boyfriend,

and Alex

Wait, I'm confused, I thought

you said he was your mate Stevie?

He is

No, they weren't friends

until after my ex, Paul and...

Richard

decided they didn't want

anything to do with him anymore

because he came out loud and proud

So how do you know him?

I met him at a pub one

night when I was singing

Good guy, we had a few beers

Did you do some

man-on-man lovin'?

No! No I'm not gay

I don't care about all that sh*t though

I take them as they come

He's a good guy

Wait a minute Laura, didn't you say

that he thought Jackie boy here was cute?

What?

Oh my God, this just gets more humiliating.

He did, I'm sorry, I thought

I was doing a good thing

So how does he know what I look like?

I might have shown him your Facebook

Great!

So he knows what I look

like, what does he look like?

Is he fit?

I'm not gay,

but he's a good looking lad.

You got any photos?

Yeah I think I've got some from

the festival we last went to

Oh I have!

We went to a party last weekend,

I was his hag for the night

Hmmm OK

Look!

That's him wasted, so he's

got to look better sober

Yeah, well, I'm still not happy.

Oh shut up, he's hot!

I suppose I should go and

say hello to, is it, Rich?

Yeah, Rich

Hi, Rich, is it?

It's Richard.

Richard, I've been...

hearing good things about you, that you

were getting pretty close with my Loz?

It's my Laura

things are very serious, mate

I didn't mean anything by it

you know, she's a friend of mine.

I just think it's a bit weird that my

girlfriend's two best friends are men

Does it matter?

It does to me.

I didn't mean to upset you, we're

just here to have a good time

Chill out alright?

Don't f***ing tell me to chill out!

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