The Seven Year Itch Page #4

a simple biological fact.

Women age quicker than men.

I won't look different when I'm 60.

I have that kind of a face.

Everybody'll think she's my mother.

Hello, Mother?

Oh, Helen!

I wasn't expecting you to call

till 10. Everything all right?

Everything's fine here. Seems pretty

empty without you, though.

Just sitting out on the terrace...

...drinking, getting fractured

on raspberry soda.

Little Ricky okay? Oh, he did?

He hasn't done that for a long time.

It's the excitement.

That's nice.

Who did you meet on the train?

Tom MacKenzie?

What's he doing up there?

My advice is to avoid Tom

like the plague.

I don't want him

carrying Ricky's kayak.

If anybody carries Ricky's kayak,

it's gonna be you.

How's the weather? Cool?

It's steaming here, like an oven.

Yeah, I'm pretty tired myself.

Night. Good night, darling.

Chapter three:

"The Repressed Urge

in the Middle-Aged Male.

Its Roots and Its Consequences."

Maybe a twist of lemon would help

this, or a shot of Worcestershire.

Hey, what's the big idea?!

You wanna kill somebody?

- What's the matter?

- This great cast-iron pot...

...practically killed me.

Oh, it's you. Well, hello again.

What happened?

Oh, the tomato plant fell over!

It sure did.

- I'm terribly sorry.

- It's nothing.

Look at that poor chair!

I'll pay for it. I hope it's not

some priceless antique.

- It's just early Sears, Roebuck.

- If there's anything I can do...

Do what? There's nothing

to worry about.

I'm certainly glad you're not mad.

Now don't touch it.

I'll have the janitor come down...

...and take care of it. Good night.

- Hey there! Wait a minute.

- Yes?

I'll tell you one thing you could do.

If you're not doing anything else

more important.

Would you have a drink with me?

- Thanks, I'd love it.

- You would?

Sure, it'd be fun.

Let me just go and put something on.

I get dressed in the kitchen.

When it's hot like this,

I keep my undies in the icebox.

- In the icebox?

- See you in a minute.

In the icebox!

I really need it, Dr. Murphy.

Honest I do.

Don't worry, Dr. Murphy

Just one, that's all.

All those lovely

injurious tars and resins.

And now a small concession

from Dr. Summers?

Doctor, let's be reasonable.

Can't fly on one wing.

Okay, I'll put some soda in it.

"Do you want to come in for a drink?"

"I'd love it."

Just like that.

A beautiful girl too.

Must be a model or actress.

Atmosphere.

I need a little atmosphere.

Tomato plant.

Fan caught in the door.

What am I doing?

This is absolutely ridiculous.

The first night Helen leaves,

I'm bringing dames in here.

Take it easy.

There's nothing wrong with asking

a neighbor down for a drink.

I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea.

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