The Seven Year Itch Page #3

That sweet, little old lady

with the gray hair?

That was the day nurse.

You never saw the night nurse,

a certain Miss Finch.

Poor Miss Finch.

She fought it as long as she could.

- But then one night...

- Richard!

Miss Finch, please, not again tonight.

We have so little time.

Soon they'll take out your stitches

and I'll have lost you forever.

Please, Miss Finch.

There is such a thing as ethics.

Remember, you are a registered nurse.

Ethics? Once I had ethics.

Once I was young.

Once I had ideals. I was registered!

And then you happened.

Miss Finch, for five nights now

you've been taking my pulse.

Have you never noticed

this simple band of gold?

You've bothered me since they wheeled

you into the operating room.

I can't understand it.

There's this animal thing about you.

Please, Miss Finch, my adhesions.

Let's crash out of here.

Let's steal an ambulance.

You're not fit to wear that uniform.

You're rotten to the core.

Beat me till your arms ache.

I'll only come crawling back for more.

You're forcing me to take measures...

...to protect you from yourself.

No, no!

Put me down! Put me down!

The moth and the flame,

that's what it was.

Poor Miss Finch. I hope I didn't

singe her wings too badly.

You read too many books

and see too many movies.

For instance, take Elaine.

Your best friend, your bridesmaid.

Let me tell you about that weekend

in Westport last summer.

You were playing canasta,

suspecting nothing.

Elaine and I went for a walk. Walk!

We went swimming, moonlight swimming.

What is this strange animal thing

you have? It bothers me.

It's bothered me

since the first time I saw you.

And it'll bother me always,

from here to eternity.

You must fight it, Elaine.

Remember, I belong to another.

Richard!

This can never be. I have a devoted,

trusting wife at home.

And a freckle-faced

little space cadet.

Richard!

So, Helen, in light

of the circumstances...

...I resent your calling

to check up on me.

Don't worry about me.

Although I have tremendous

personal magnetism...

...I also have strength of character.

And tremendous imagination.

You've begun to imagine it

Cinemascope, with stereophonic sound.

Well...

...back to work.

Chapter three:

"The Repressed Urge in the Middle-Aged

Male. Its Roots and Its Consequences."

Helen is worried. I just know she is.

She plays it cool,

but she can't fool me.

Why else would she call

in the middle of the night?

She probably figures she isn't

as young as she was. She's 31.

One day she'll wake up

and find her looks are gone.

No wonder she's worried.

I don't look different

than I did when I was 28.

It's not my fault, it's just

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