The Secret Lives of Dorks Page #5

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[ Stopwatch Beeps ]

Come On.

Bronko.

Hi.

Hey.

Great, Um, Great Bears Game

Last Sunday, Huh?

Oh, Yeah, Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Except In The Third

Quarter, When They Were Up

Against A Cover 2 Zone.

They Tried To Run A Tackle Left.

Oh.

Are You Kidding Me?!

Everybody Knows When You're In

That Situation, You Run A Post

Pattern For An Easy Touchdown

There, Right?

Right. Yeah.

Right?!

Yeah, Right.

That's Crazy.

Crazy.

I Mean, In A Cover 2 Zone

Situation, Everybody Knows You

Got To Run A Post Pattern.

Even You Know!

I Know That, And I'm Not Even

A Coach!

I Know.

Kills Me.

Yeah.

Hey, You Know, I Was Looking For

A Good Place To Watch The Game

This Sunday, And I Was

Wondering -- Do You Know Any

Good Places, Any...

Recommendations?

[ Exhales Deeply ]

I, Uh...

Well, Uh...

Not Really.

[ School Bell Rings ]

[ Indistinct Conversations ]

Stay On The Pavement, Fellas.

Yeah, You Heard Me, Smirk Face.

Took Me All Night.

Wow.

Nice Balls.

Dude, They Got You Again.

[ Chime Tone Plays ]

"Let Me Teach You A Few

Things About Girls."

You Know That Line In "Hamlet,"

"To Thine Ownself Be True"?

Lesson 1 -- Don't Do That.

Lesson 2 -- Compliments Are

Good.

Over-Complimenting Shows

Desperation.

Women Sense Desperation Like

Dogs Sense Fear.

[ Chomps ]

Or Food.

[ Chuckles ]

I'm Not Sure Which.

Lesson 3 -- Really Don't Be

Yourself.

Can't Stress This Enough.

Carrie's Shirt Is Way

Boobalicious.

No, Seriously.

Way Boobalicious.

Boobalicious?

Really?

She's A Person With Feelings,

You Know.

I'd Love To Be Feeling All Up

In Her And Sh*t.

Don't Hate The Playa,

Home-Diggity.

[ Chime Tone Plays ]

Rolling Hills Dragons Rule,

Baby!

Waaahooooow!!

Lesson 4 -- Pay No Attention

To Clark.

Pay Attention To Things Like...

Her Nail Polish.

Girls Like When You Notice That

Sort Of Thing.

And Lesson 5 -- Possibly The

Most Important Lesson You'll

Get From Me.

Always Tell Hot Girls They're

Smart And Smart Girls They're

Hot.

Okay.

Payton.

[ Smooches ]

Payton.

This One Is So Good.

What You Guys Watching?

Football.

But It's Wednesday.

They Don't Have Football On

Wednesday.

Oh, Yeah.

Uh, This Is One From The, Uh,

'85 Season.

Super Bowl Game?

No.

Championship Game?

No.

Look -- The Fog Bowl.

Fog Just Came In.

It Looks Like They're Playing On

Mount Olympus.

You Need Help, Dad.

Well, I Think It's Important

That Gale Has A Sense Of

History.

Go, Bears!

That's My Girl.

Hey, You Know, You Could Sit

Down And Watch With Us, You

Know, Like A Family.

Families Do More Than Just

Watch Football Together.

It Wasn't Like This Before Mom

Died.

Okay.

Just Don't Say Her Name.

I Didn't Mention Her Name.

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