The Sandlot 2 Page #3

being, like, a boy and all.

That's what my mom calls my dad.

I told you, she's liberated.

Yes, I am, and I can do anything

you can do better.

This is a baseball, same as that.

For the love of Pete, are you deaf?

Sorry, Fingers.

This is not a baseball.

It's a softball.

My three-year-old sister

can hit this grapefruit.

-[ Boys Laugh ]

- With a souvenir Dodger bat.

-[ Laughter Increases ]

- And if you pitch it 60 miles an hour.

- [ Laughing ]

- [ Mock Laughter]

I bet you couldn't hit it.

Say what?

I don't bet trash. I burn it.

- What did you say?

- I'll bet I can strike him out

with three pitches.

If I do, we stay,you leave.

If I don't,you stay, we'll leave.

- You're serious?

- Like Gloria Steinem.

You're on, doll face.

Tarq, get my bat and my helmet.

Mac, what are you doing?

- Getting rid of them.

- You just can't take a bet

like that by yourself, Mac.

- We all get a say.

- And?

- And my mom reads Ms. magazine.

- What the hell is he talking about?

Gloria Steinem writes that magazine.

It's serious women's liberation stuff.

What the hell is he talking about?

I'm just saying, what if

the impossible happened?

Like, somehow, she, like, threw

three pitches, and you didn't, like, hit one.

Are you cracked? She's a girl.

This is baseball. I'm a man.

Listen, she'll toss me

a ball- [ Whimpers ]

I'll tag it four blocks, they'll go home

and all this junk will be over.

Okay? Okay? Okay?

Well?

Now you're talking.

Bring it on, skirt.

- Don't blink.

- [ Scoffs ]

- What the-

- Come on. Pitch it already.

I call time. What the hell was that?

Come on. That's totally illegal.

You can't do that!

[ Laughing ]

- [ All Hiss ]

- You didn't even swing.

Um, I kind of blinked.

Just tell me what happened.

- She smoked you, meathead.

- You didn't even swing.

I heard you the fiirst time, Tarqell.

Swing? He didn't even see it.

- Oh, like you never took a strike before.

- Not like that.

- I've never seen

anything like that before.

- [ Laughs ]

- Oh, my God, Hayley. They are so embarrassed.

- They should be.

How was I supposed to know that

they were a professional softball team?

You go back up there, she'll mow you down

like a summer daisy.

What are you now, a poet?

Sam's pretty sure it's a violation of

the rules to pitch underhand.

- Hey!

- That one is cute.

You can't do that underhand pitch thing.

It's against the rules of baseball.

I'm just tellin' ya.

No, it's not.

There's no rule against it.

- So it's legal and fair.

- [ Giggling ]

Oh. Okay. Thanks.

We are offiicially screwed.

[ Exhales ]

[ Exhales ]

No, we're not.

Excuse me, what are you doing?

Pinch-hitting. It's legal...

- and fair.

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