The Riot Club Page #5

Oh, um, I think we're just buying our own.

Oh, yeah, sure. Cool.

We do it with port, actually, not

champagne. It's more visceral.

In the Riot Club?

Miles, isn't it?

The school plays?

My Richard lll was quite something.

Oh, my God. You're the guy

who used to improvise limericks in Latin.

And get bogwashed for it.

You look, um, you look different.

Hugo.

- It's Hugo.

- I did remember.

You didn't. It's fine.

Cigarette?

After you.

Oh, everything you see

is begged and borrowed.

I'm very much the ragged end of the gentry.

So, I must ask,

what's a nice Westminster boy like you doing

with all those boot-strappy regionals?

I don't know, Lauren's cool, so...

Well, you know what they say,

girls for now, girls for later.

So...

The Club...

The Riot Club connects me to hundreds

of years of history.

The dinner is debauchery raised to an art,

almost spiritual.

Something is released.

Do you know there are some people

who think they're here to get a degree?

Yeah, listen.

Could you stop flirting with me, please?

Oh, really?

Go on, then.

Help...

Off we go!

I've got the money for those fines.

I will be back very shortly.

Maestro!

Ugh!

Sh*t!

Straight,

straight, straight.

Oh!

Chateau Petrus, 1976.

What is the correct way to eat ortolan?

Which is bigger, a Mordechai

or a Methuselah?

What is a Roman shower?

Which happens first, the Cheltenham

Gold Cup or the Grand National?

What did Disraeli do three times

and Gladstone four?

What does a coprophagic like to do?

How did Edward ll die?

Which is oldest, Trinity College Cambridge

or Trinity College Oxford?

Don't answer yet. Go, go, go!

- Come on!

- OK

What is the answer to question five?

- Chancellor of the Exchequer.

- Oh, yeah!

Forty seconds!

- Answer in the right order.

- Yes.

Ortolan, eat it with a

napkin over your head.

- Come on, mate, think!

- Mordechai.

- Getting someone to vomit on you.

- Whoa! Whoo!

Cheltenham Gold Cup.

- Chancellor of the Exchequer.

- Yeah!

Sh*t! They do they...

They like to eat sh*t.

- Red hot poker up the arse.

- Come on, mate!

- And, uh...

- Ten seconds!

- Trinity College, Cambridge.

- Yes!

By nine years.

That was actually remarkably good.

I feel polluted. Those guys are hard-core.

It was total carnage.

Are you sure you want to be in this thing?

Yeah, it's actually kind of an honour

to be asked, if they want me.

You don't even know yet?

Well, apparently, I'll be sent a sign.

Here.

Well, just sip it.

Oh, I saw your post.

The Honourable Miles Richards?

You're an "Honourable"?

It's just a historical thing,

it doesn't mean anything.

God, are you sure you wouldn't prefer

one of those rah girls with all the hair?

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