The Right Kind of Wrong Page #4

up their wedding gift today.

Hey!

I missed you guys!

Yeah, come here.

Good to see you.

Why are the dogs here?

Who lives here?

Us.

Your parents bought us a house.

They had a designer furnish it. Of

course, anything you don't like will go.

It's not that.

It's all beautiful.

- We just can't take it.

- Why?

Well, I didn't.

We didn't earn it.

Oh, my God. I forgot.

We live in a

black-and-white world

where things are very simple.

Shut up. I'm serious.

I am too.

And in this simple world,

if we didn't earn something

by the sweat of our brow, we

just, we can't possibly enjoy it.

Though we both know the world

is not simple like that.

You know, it was a mistake.

We can give it all back.

- You brought these here?

- Yeah.

I figured if your mom sends you

them, they're important.

Even if you are mad at her right now.

You're amazing.

You know that?

Leo Palamino!

- Yes.

- Last time I saw you, you were downtown.

- Yeah.

- Between my legs.

- Yeah.

- Sucking my oyster.

You know, I like to keep the disturbing

euphemisms to the heat of the moment.

Kinda old-fashioned

that way.

Yeah. Got it, mate.

But if there was a licensing

board for muff diving...

Could I get a ticket?

Good afternoon everyone.

Hi.

And welcome to the tour.

Let's get started!

Word is, to get zoning approval

for this abomination,

the company slipped

600 grand to Councilman Ryan

Debrugan last Christmas Eve.

Oh!

- Who is that?

- Councilman Debrugan.

Nice.

Hear it?

That river has been flowing

over a million years.

It's my favourite natural wonder

here, even if you have to

lie in a parking lot to hear it.

Just imagine...

a river...

in total darkness.

Now, before I tell you about the bodies

found under the floor when the hermit died,

any questions?

I'm kidding!

He was just a normal hermit.

Built model trains, talked to the animals.

He died holding a picture of a girl he

loved in his youth.

But seriously, any questions?

He's got a question.

That's weird.

I didn't notice him.

What gave you the idea for the tours?

II moved a lot growing up.

And the first thing we'd do in a

new place was go to a local bar

and get the lowdown.

You don't learn about a place

from the brochures.

Life is messy.

And that's its beauty.

He doesn't deserve you.

You know nothing

about Danny. Or me.

I know guys like him, you know?

So, he's lucky, so comfy in his own skin.

And he has really good taste.

I mean, who wouldn't with all

that fancy, worldly experience?

I mean, this guy, he doesn't

just want a hot wife...

he wants a hot, interesting wife.

So this is what he does:

he ditches his Hummer to impress you.

You are incredibly judgmental.

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