The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio Page #5

- Mommy won a shopping spree!

- Oh, yeah?

They time her as she runs in the store.

She can get whatever she wants.

She's gonna get us a bunch of candy...

And fancy nuts.

I'm gonna eat a cashew.

Can you believe it?

That's terrific, Mother.

Now, I only get

ten minutes and one cart,

so what I did was, I walked

to the market to plot my strategy.

- Wait till you hear this.

- The carts are smaller than at the A&P.

- Mom talked to the butcher.

- He's gonna wrap up bacon and ribs.

- I can build up the cart that way.

- Sounds pretty clever.

I asked him to set aside a prime rib,

a chateaubriand, what do you think?

- We each get our own filet mignon.

- Absolutely.

Tuff, honey, would you set the table?

I had filet mignon once.

It ain't that great.

When have you started saying "ain't"?

Get off your high horse.

It's a perfectly good word.

- Here.

- Oh, thank you.

This is perfect.

I was gonna put on fish sticks,

but now I can make sloppy joes.

Might as well cook it up now.

Looks like hamburger's not gonna be

good enough for this family anymore.

Oh, of course it is.

Itjust won't be the only thing we know.

I asked the kids to make a list

of what they want me to grab.

- What would you like?

- Don't waste any space on me.

Oh, now stop. Think.

What have you always wanted to try?

- I don't know.

- Sure you do.

Shrimp cocktail.

The kind they have in those little jars.

I like the way they look,

kind of elegant.

I always wanted one of those.

You shall have it.

Thank you, Mother.

Proud of the old lady.

- But I think you should...

- Oh, no.

Are all these kids yours?

- Hi, Mom.

- Yes. If it's all right,

they were going to call out the time

so I could stay on schedule.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't see any problem with that.

And any help you happen

to give Mrs. Ryan in filling her cart

won't be seen by me.

So, then, are you ready?

Hold on.

- Didn't like the way that sounded.

- Thank you.

All set?

Go!

Go! Faster!

- I think we should split up.

- OK.

I'll take the frozen section,

you take the European food aisle.

- What do you want, hon?

- Oh, caviar, expensive things.

The good stuff, not the ordinary.

Gotcha.

Marge, go!

Seven minutes to go!

Three minutes. Come on!

One minute left!

I got you some goose pate.

You ever had that?

- No.

- Let me know what it's like.

I got all the after-dinner mints,

the Swiss chocolate,

two bags of English toffees

and a couple bags of coffee mints.

Grab and move on. Where to?

- Produce!

- What for?

Exotic, anything grown

in a foreign country.

- Does Hawaii count?

- Yes.

Thirty seconds!

Time!

I got your shrimp cocktail!

I got your shrimp cocktail!

That was... great.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes