The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio Page #4

when he can't pay for milk?

I have no idea, honey.

But at least he has a goal.

Now the moment is here

when Queen for A Day

makes your wish come true.

We're going to

the Everson-Jennings company

and order one of their sturdy,

folding wheelchairs.

There's a sample.

- Mommy.

- Yes, honey?

Davey messed his diaper

and I tried to change him.

Oh, show me.

Oh, Barbie.

The trick is to hold the baby's legs up

while you take the diaper off.

- I got it on my hands.

- I know you did, sweetheart.

OK, now, here we go. Follow me.

All right, don't touch anything.

Come on, Betsy, you too.

Let's wash your hands.

Yeah. Come on, come on.

All right, everybody. Come on.

OK, put your hands under the faucet.

- Milk delivery!

- Just a minute, I'll be right there.

Come on. I've got deliveries to make.

Just a minute, please.

- I'm leaving.

- No, you aren't.

I'm on my way.

OK, girls. Stay in the kitchen

till I can clean this up.

You know that I got a schedule to keep.

I know you do, Ray.

What a life you lead.

- Three dollars.

- I'm a little short this week.

Can I owe you?

I got three other families

on credit this week.

- You know I'm always good for it.

- I'm not a bank.

You could start charging interest.

Don't get smart with me.

- Smart people know their budget.

- Right.

That's why I don't have

a problem paying bills.

Hello, vernon.

Anything for me today?

You want something in life,

you got to pay for it.

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

Hey, Ray.

Oh, hold on.

How do you like that?

I won two dollars in the poetry

contest for The Toledo Blade.

There you go.

There he goes.

Yeah. You want the money?

I'm sorry I made such a mess, Mommy.

Well, actually, honey,

if I had gotten

the door any sooner,

then the milkman would have

left before the mailman arrived,

and we wouldn't have had

any milk for our dinner tonight.

So, there you go.

It was all meant to be.

This is what happens to one's literary

efforts once placed in the mailbox.

For the big contests, they go sailing

off to New York City to be judged.

The average count

is a million and a half entries.

A million and a half. Imagine that!

Each entry is first checked to make sure

it's accompanied by proof of purchase.

You don't pay, you don't play.

Next they go to the juniorjudges.

College English majors, mind you,

who are instructed

to eliminate the trite,

the obvious and the inept. Oh, dear.

And so, the final judging begins.

Every syllable of every word

is scrutinized and analyzed,

the merits of each debated

until a few of the worthiest remain.

The ballots are cast,

the points are added up

and the grand prize winner is declared.

Oh, my gosh!

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