The Pacifier Page #7

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HELGA (CONT’D)

Tell me, are you licensed to kill?

SHANE:

... No.

HELGA:

(she frowns)

Too bad.

15.

Helga trudges up the path and in.

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT

Shane, on a short ladder, screws in a surveillance camera

into the corner of a wall when he hears:

MALE VOICE (o.s.)

Prepare to be annihilated!

Lulu SCREAMS. The sound of MACHINE GUN FIRING.

Immediately, Shane leaps off the ladder and bounds down

the stairs two at a time and into the...

INT. HOUSE/FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT

Shane rushes in -- and finds Lulu screaming and giggling

in front of a VIDEO GAME. Shane shakes his head.

SHANE:

Could you turn that dow-

And Shane spies half of Todd’s face peeking around a

corner staring at him...

.

SHANE (CONT’D)

Hey-

Todd disappears. WAAAAA!! WAAAAA!! Shane spins, looks

around for the CRYING BABY... can’t find him.

SHANE (CONT’D)

... Where’s the baby?

Without looking Lulu points. A diapered Peter stands in

the half full AQUARIUM, pouring in Cheerios. Helga

enters holding the wailing Tyler. Gary suddenly FLIES by

-WHRRP! Shane ducks. Shane scowls at Helga:

SHANE (CONT’D)

You run a very loose ship.

HELGA:

You don’t like it? You’re the SEAL. You

do something. I make bottle.

Helga stomps out. Shane heads down the hall, when in the

corner of his eye -- he sees A FIGURE SCURRY ACROSS THE

BACK LAWN. Shane turns off the light. He shuts off the

window alarm and sneaks out silently.

16.

EXT. PLUMMER HOUSE - BACK YARD - CONTINUOUS

The yard is littered with toys. In the middle is a

TRAMPOLINE. He spots the Figure climbing the TRELLIS.

Shane runs, jumps onto the trampoline. He flies in the

air and latches onto the figure. They both tumble to the

ground.

Shane yanks off the DARK FIGURE’s hood, revealing SCOTT

(16) a nervous teenager. He’s dazed, but alright, wearing

SHARPER IMAGE night vision goggles.

SCOTT:

... Zoe?

Zoe runs out the door, setting off the PIERCING ALARM.

ZOE:

He’s my boyfriend, tool.

SHANE:

So you’re the one who broke in.

Zoe -- go back inside.

ZOE:

Okay, fine... come on Scott.

Shane grabs Scott by the scruff of the neck.

SHANE:

Not with this kid. (to Todd:) You --

Gimme twenty!

Freaked, Scott fumbles for his wallet and gives Shane a

twenty dollar BILL.

SHANE (CONT’D)

I meant PUSH-UPS!

Befuddled, Scott starts to do lame push-ups. Shane grabs

the back of Scott’s shirt, LIFTING him in the air,

spinning him away from the house like a marionette. Scott

runs off, calling out from across the street.

.

SCOTT:

... I’ll call you, Zoe!

Zoe storms inside. Shane stands there, fuming. The

Alarm’s still blaring. The window of the house next door

opens:
a Korean couple, THE CHUNS, pop their heads out.

They’re arguing with each other in Korean. Shane

addresses them, IN PERFECT KOREAN with subtitles:

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