The Pacifier Page #5

---

Shane eyes Lulu. Lulu eyes Shane, then:

LULU:

Mom! There’s some weird bald guy at the

door!

SLAM. Lulu shuts the door in Shane’s face. Shane frowns.

WE hear heavier footsteps approaching.

FEMALE VOICE (o.s.)

(before she sees Shane:)

Look, if you’re with the Hare Krishnas,

we’re not interested...

The door opens revealing JULIE PLUMMER. Julie holds

NAKED baby PETER, 2. She sees Shane, and stops, a little

startled by his size...

SHANE:

(salutes:
)

Lieutenant Shane Wolfe, reporting for

duty.

JULIE:

Of course. I’m so sorry. Thank you for

coming.

She hugs him. He’s not quite sure what to do -- he’s a

rock, he doesn’t flinch.

JULIE (CONT’D)

Come in and meet the rest of the gang.

INT. PLUMMER HOUSE/FOYER - DAY

.

It’s warm and quiet. Petite Julie SCREAMS up the stairs-

11.

JULIE:

KIIIDDS!!!

Shane startles, covers his ears.

JULIE (CONT’D)

Get your butts down here and say “hello!”

And then three pairs of feet come down the stairs. Lulu,

ZOE, 15, and TODD, 14 line up like the perfect family

portrait. Todd’s hair hangs in his face. He wears a Sid

Vicious shirt and a long trench coat.

JULIE (CONT’D)

You’ve already met Lulu. This is Peter,

Zoe and Todd. Kids, this is Lieutenant

Wolfe. He’s the man who is going to be

staying with us for a while.

All the kids except for Todd-

KIDS:

Hi.

Shane nods, stern. On the stairs, a Romanian MAID walks

by, carrying a BABY.

JULIE:

And this is Helga and Tyler.

Shane nods hello to them.

SHANE:

(official:
)

Ma’am... Baby.

JULIE:

Kids, go finish your homework. And I’ll

be checking.

Zoe, Lulu and Todd climb back up the stairs. Julie leads

Shane into...

.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Julie sits, Shane stands “at ease” (which doesn’t look

“at ease” at all).

SHANE:

You have a pleasant family, ma’am.

12.

JULIE:

Charles wasn’t around too much. His work

took him all over the world. He’d be gone

six or seven months at a time. So I

think for the younger ones it’s a little

confusing. Zoe and Todd... well, they’re

dealing like your normal teenagers.

Maybe in Todd’s case semi-normal.

SHANE:

Mrs. Plummer, I have to tell you that I

did everything I could...

JULIE:

Charles was in a dangerous business. I

knew it when I married him. No one’s to

blame here.

(beat)

Everyone thinks that Charles told me or

the kids where he hid it. And until

G.H.O.S.T. is found, we’re all in danger.

SHANE:

Nothing will happen to your family as

long as I’m here. I’ve dealt with much...

Suddenly from behind Shane’s head a DUCK appears and

NIBBLES his ear. Shane spins in full fight stance. He

sees the Duck... and relaxes. Sort of.

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