The Owl House

Season #1 Episode #8: Once Upon a Swap

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[Open on Eda's human collectibles stand in the market. King is jumping on the table, trying to grab a flag hanging above him.]

King:
Weh! [falls off the table] Stupid flag!

[Luz walks in carrying a ladder and a wooden sign.]

Luz:
It's been a little slow around here, but I've got just the thing to attract customers.

[She puts the wooden sign on top of the "HUMAN COLLECTABLES" sign and taps it, activating the light glyphs carved into it.]

Luz:
And who doesn't like their name in lights?

[Fully illuminated, a winking face of Eda appears.]

Luz:
Is it too subtle?

Boscha:
Does subtle mean ugly?

[Boscha, Skara, and an Oracle track student are standing at the stand.]

Luz:
Hi Boscha! Hexsidians! See anything you like?

Boscha:
Ew! No. I'm just here to take an ironic Penstagram next to your weird flashing trash sign.

[She summons her scroll and takes several pictures.]

Luz:
It's not funny Boscha.

Boscha:
What are you going to do? Spit your human venom on me?

King:
You have venom? Quick, Luz, start melting faces!

Luz:
[kneels down] Even if I could, it's not worth it. You wouldn't understand how to handle teens like her.

King:
[grabs her hood] No, I'll show you what to do. [grunts, jumps onto the table] You will tremble before me!

[The three teens stare at him.]

Boscha:
Oh, he's so cute!

[She hugs King and summons her scroll, taking a picture with a filter.]

King:
Weh! [shoves her face]

Boscha:
How much? I have to own him.

King:
[frees himself] You couldn't afford me, sister!

All:
Aw!

King:
That's the incorrect reaction!

Eda:
[sniffs] I smell an easy mark. [jumps out of the tent] Hey, kid! Can I offer you the latest fashions from... [magically dresses herself in horribly clashing clothes] the human realm?

Boscha:
Yeah, no.

[Skara and the Oracle track student laugh as the three of them leave.]

Eda:
Well, [returns to her normal outfit] I hate her.

Luz:
Yeah, teens can be sour, but I'm a little sweetie. Look what I made you!

[Points to her sign.]

Eda:
Luz! [takes the sign down]

Luz:
Did I spell something wrong? Or did I spell something right?

Eda:
Stop that. [wipes away the lights] You may be forgetting something, Luz. I'm kinda... [holds up her wanted poster] on the run! Remember? Every guard in town would be at my doorstep if I had my name in lights.

Luz:
Well, I don't see anyone right now. Maybe you're just being paranoid. You're a powerful witch. Why hide when you can "poof" all your problems away with magic?

King:
What does Luz know about problems anyway? All she has is dumb teen drama! She doesn't understand how hard some of us have it.

Eda:
You're pampered all day like a dang baby. How hard is that life?

King:
Well, I don't know if you realized, but I'm not a baby!

Luz:
Then why are you screaming like one?

King:
My life is a living nightmare!

Eda:
Well, there's only one thing to do when friends can't see eye to eye.

Luz:
Hug each other till we pass out? [hugs King]

King:
Fight to the death!

Eda:
Pfft, no. Body swap!

King:
[to Luz] Are you sure you don't shoot venom?

[THEME]

Eda:
I love a good body swap. It's like demonic possession with the ones you love.

Luz:
We're doing that? That's possible? [grabs a VHS box] This is just like my favorite early 2000s movie! Freaky Fraturday. But maybe we should think about this for a second.

Eda:
Body swap!

Luz:
Ooh!

[Eda spins her staff above their heads, a curtain of yellow light and smoke falling over them.]

Luz:
[in Eda's body] Did it work? I need a mirror. [runs into the mirror with a grunt] Found one. Oh, my gosh. It worked! I'm so old... [grabs her ears] and pointy!

[King in Luz's body walks up to the mirror.]

Luz:
Hot dog! It's me!

King:
[in Luz's body] Yeah, it is. I'm the human now. Bow before my massive, meaty hands!

Luz:
Wait, so that means...

[Eda clears her throat. Luz and King look back at the table, where the last of the smoke dissipates.]

Eda:
[in King's body] How do I look?

King:
I've got some... very confusing emotions right now.

Eda:
All right, here's the deal. Whoever can prove their new body has the easiest life gets out of house cleaning duty. And you know what that means.

[Cut to Hooty giggling maniacally as he plays in the mud. Cut back to the three of them shuddering.

King:
Won't be me. Life as a teen is a tyrant's dream! [to Luz] By the end of the day, I'll be ruling over your feeble demographic.

Luz:
Well, I've got magic. Eda, don't be too mad when your inventory's gone and the guards are none the wiser.

[She accidentally casts a beam of light that knocks her on the ground.]

Eda:
Ha! That's cute. [hops off the table] If you need me, I'll be getting pampered on a vacation fit for a king.

King:
My life's not a joke! [to Luz] But yours is. [pokes Luz's nose] Bap. [laughs and runs away]

[Cut to Eda walking through town. She grabs a pair of sunglasses, puts them on and poses. Freeze frame with the words "Eda's Catastrophe" above her. She continues walking.]

Woman:
Look at that little baby!

Eda:
Oh, hello.

Man:
So adorable!

Eda:
Yes, hello to you too, handsome.

Guard:
Stop right there!

[A guard with a four-headed dog is staring at her.]

Eda:
An emperor's guard.

Dog:
[sniffs, growls]

Guard:
Thought you could get away with it, didn't you?

Eda:
Wait, you know who I am?

Guard:
Of course, I do. You're... the cutest little angel I've ever seen! Who wants a lolly? [holds out a lollipop]

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