The Muppet Movie Page #2

You got your french-fried

frog legs au gratin...

you got your frog legs almandine,

you got your frog legs stroganoff.

Everybody happy?

All right.

Hello, sailor.

Buy me a drink?

I'm not a sailor,

I'm a frog.

- Cut the small talk and buy me a drink.

- I don't even know you.

Hey, you makin'

a move on my girl?

- No, sir.

- He did too. He touched me.

Go wash!

You'll get warts.

- No, that's just a myth.

- Yeah, but she's my ''mith''!

No, no, myth, myth!

- Yes?

- What the hey?

Show time!

Show time at the El Sleezo.

And now, filling in for the vacationing

El Sleezo dancing girls...

the funny, furry, fabulous...

Fozzie Bear!

You're a great crowd!

Thank you, thank you and thank you!

Here I am, Fozzie Bear,

to tell you jokes both old and rare!

Get off the stage!

Let's start things off

with a bang!

Thank you, sir.

This guy's lost.

Maybe he should try

Hare Krishna.

Good grief.

It's a running gag.

There was this sailor

who was so fat--

How fat was he?

He was so fat

that everybody liked him...

and there was nothing

funny about him at all.

No problem!

Please!

Oh, please!

I'm trying so hard.

Please don't get mad.

I'm a professional.

I've had three performances.

- Curtain! Curtain!

- Do you know any dance routines?

What? Not really. Do you?

- Play something snappy.

- You got it.

- Now dance!

- What?

Dance!

It's too bad the dancing girls

are on vacation.

The crowd is getting ugly.

You think this crowd's ugly,

you should see the dancing girls!

Two, three, four.

- Two, three, kick!

- Kick. Yeah, sorry.

Comin' home!

I just cleaned the fur, please!

I hope you appreciate that

I'm doing all my own stunts.

Okay, everybody,

drinks on the house!

- Drinks on the house!

- Yeah! Go, go! On the house!

I don't see no drinks up here.

What's he talkin' about?

The bartender said there

were drinks on the house.

- Works every time.

- Huh. Wow.

My name is Kermit the Frog,

and I'm on my way to Hollywood.

- Hollywood?

- You want to join me?

Big-time show biz!

That's always been my dream.

They're holding auditions

for frogs next week.

And if they need frogs,

they must need bears too.

My car's right outside!

Gee, a Studebaker.

Where'd you get it?

- My uncle left it to me.

- Is he dead?

No, he's hibernating.

You know, Fozzie, you really

do have a lot of talent.

- Thank you.

- How about we put together an act?

Nope. Sorry.

I only work as a single.

Okay.

All right, you talked me into it!

We'll be a team!

- Oh, good.

- What's this?

- You better pull over here.

- Yes, sir.

Hey, what's goin' on?

Howdy, Mr. Frog.

- I'm a businessman with a proposition.

- What?

Let me show you somethin' that

Rate this script:3.3 / 3 votes