
The Muppet Movie
(3.33 / 3 votes)- I'm Statler.
- I'm Waldorf.
We're here to heckle
The Muppet Movie.
That's straight ahead,
private screening room '' D.''
- Private screening?
- They're afraid to show it in public!
Look at this place.
What a dump!
Look at 'em.
- Yes, I know you all want to--
- Lady, is this seat taken?
What-- Hey, you!
Bring that back!
I'm so nervous. If I'm not funny,
I won't be able to live with myself.
Well, then you'll have to get
another apartment, won't you?
I hear this movie is dynamite.
Get your fresh organic popcorn,
only a buck.
- Buy me some, please.
- Sure, Mama.
- Nothin's too good for my woman.
- Woman! Woman! Woman!
- I like the movie fine so far.
- It hasn't started yet.
That's what I like about it!
Do it!
Oh, hey, Mr. Defrog!
Is it okay for me and my boomerang fish
to be in your movie?
Hey!
I told you, Luke, not in the movie
or at the screening.
Hey, but watch.
Kermit, does this film have
socially redeeming value?
I certainly hope so, Sam.
Sorry about that.
- Kermie!
- Hi, Piggy.
I tried to save you a seat,
but somebody took it.
Hi, everybody, and welcome to
the first screening of The Muppet Movie.
But before we begin, I'd like to thank
everyone who contributed to this film...
starting with the little people,
from the hairdressers...
to special effects--
- That's enough of that, Harry!
- Blow it up! Blow it up!
To the costume designers,
to the prop makers--
Speeches are not necessary, dear.
Roll the film.
But I'd like
to thank everybody...
for all of their hard work
and patience--
Roll film! Roll film!
Roll film!
Excuse me.
Uncle Kermit, is this about how
the Muppets really got started?
Well, it's sort of
approximately how it happened.
Why are there so many
Songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side
Rainbows are visions
But only illusions
And rainbows have nothing to hide
So we've been told
I know they're wrong
Wait and see
Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Who said that every wish
Would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star
Somebody thought of that
Look what it's done so far
What's so amazing
That keeps us stargazing
And what do we think
we might see
Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
All of us under its spell
We know that it's probably
Magic
Have you been half asleep
And have you heard voices
I've heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times
To ignore it
It's something
that I'm supposed to be
Someday we'll find it
The rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers and me
Help! Hello!
This is a serious call for help.
- Yeah?
- Someone help!
You with the banjo,
can you help me?
I have lost
my sense of direction.
Have you tried Hare Krishna?
No, I mean, I'm really lost!
One second.
Darn, I missed.
That's the first thing
to go on a frog, his tongue.
The tongue goes and you
can't catch flies.
but I have to get out of this swamp.
- I have to catch a plane.
- With that tongue? No way.
- There's a boat dock just downstream.
- Thank you.
-Just watch out for the alligators.
- I will.
- Alligators?
- That's right.
- Did you say alligators?
- Read my lips-- alligators.
I'm not used to alligators
where I come from.
See, I'm an agent.
I winged in from Hollywood.
- Hollywood?
- That's right.
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"The Muppet Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 11 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_muppet_movie_14229>.