The Muppet Movie

- I'm Statler.

- I'm Waldorf.

We're here to heckle

The Muppet Movie.

That's straight ahead,

private screening room '' D.''

- Private screening?

- They're afraid to show it in public!

Look at this place.

What a dump!

Bunch of weirdos around here.

Look at 'em.

- Yes, I know you all want to--

- Lady, is this seat taken?

What-- Hey, you!

Bring that back!

I'm so nervous. If I'm not funny,

I won't be able to live with myself.

Well, then you'll have to get

another apartment, won't you?

I hear this movie is dynamite.

Get your fresh organic popcorn,

only a buck.

- Buy me some, please.

- Sure, Mama.

- Nothin's too good for my woman.

- Woman! Woman! Woman!

- I like the movie fine so far.

- It hasn't started yet.

That's what I like about it!

Do it!

Oh, hey, Mr. Defrog!

Is it okay for me and my boomerang fish

to be in your movie?

Hey!

I told you, Luke, not in the movie

or at the screening.

Hey, but watch.

Kermit, does this film have

socially redeeming value?

I certainly hope so, Sam.

Sorry about that.

- Kermie!

- Hi, Piggy.

I tried to save you a seat,

but somebody took it.

Hi, everybody, and welcome to

the first screening of The Muppet Movie.

But before we begin, I'd like to thank

everyone who contributed to this film...

starting with the little people,

from the hairdressers...

to special effects--

- That's enough of that, Harry!

- Blow it up! Blow it up!

To the costume designers,

to the prop makers--

Speeches are not necessary, dear.

Roll the film.

But I'd like

to thank everybody...

for all of their hard work

and patience--

Roll film! Roll film!

Roll film!

Excuse me.

Uncle Kermit, is this about how

the Muppets really got started?

Well, it's sort of

approximately how it happened.

Why are there so many

Songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side

Rainbows are visions

But only illusions

And rainbows have nothing to hide

So we've been told

And some choose to believe it

I know they're wrong

Wait and see

Someday we'll find it

The rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

Who said that every wish

Would be heard and answered

When wished on the morning star

Somebody thought of that

And someone believed it

Look what it's done so far

What's so amazing

That keeps us stargazing

And what do we think

we might see

Someday we'll find it

The rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

All of us under its spell

We know that it's probably

Magic

Have you been half asleep

And have you heard voices

I've heard them calling my name

Is this the sweet sound

That calls the young sailors

The voice might be one and the same

I've heard it too many times

To ignore it

It's something

that I'm supposed to be

Someday we'll find it

The rainbow connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

Help! Hello!

This is a serious call for help.

- Yeah?

- Someone help!

You with the banjo,

can you help me?

I have lost

my sense of direction.

Have you tried Hare Krishna?

No, I mean, I'm really lost!

One second.

Darn, I missed.

That's the first thing

to go on a frog, his tongue.

The tongue goes and you

can't catch flies.

I'm sorry about your tongue,

but I have to get out of this swamp.

- I have to catch a plane.

- With that tongue? No way.

- There's a boat dock just downstream.

- Thank you.

-Just watch out for the alligators.

- I will.

- Alligators?

- That's right.

- Did you say alligators?

- Read my lips-- alligators.

I'm not used to alligators

where I come from.

See, I'm an agent.

I winged in from Hollywood.

- Hollywood?

- That's right.

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