The Mudge Boy Page #6

LIKE HALLOWE'EN OR SOMETHING.

ME AND MY MOM USED TO

GO TRICK-OR-TREATING.

THIS OLD LADY, MISS McGEE,

WHO LIVED UP THE ROAD FROM US--

NOT OVER YOUR CLOTHES.

IT WON'T LOOK RIGHT.

AND, UH, HA...WELL,

EVERYONE USED TO THINK

SHE WAS A WITCH,

'CAUSE HER HOUSE,

IT DID LOOK KIND OF HAUNTED.

BUT, UM-- SO, ONE YEAR

WE GO UP THERE,

AND WE GO ON HER PORCH, AND SHE

JUST COMES RUNNING OUT OF THERE

WAVING HER BROOMSTICK AT US

AND YELLING AND SAYING THAT,

IF WE DIDN'T GET OUT,

SHE'D CALL

THE CONSTABLE.

TURN AROUND.

LOOKS GOOD.

HA. . .YEAH .

MM...DON'T TAKE IT OFF.

YOU GOT TO DO THE BACK UP.

IT WAS WEIRD, 'CAUSE SHE REALLY

DID LOOK LIKE A WITCH, BUT...

WE JUST FELT KIND OF BAD

FOR HER, THOUGH.

EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN' GIVE US ANY CANDY.

I REMEMBER:

THAT OLD LADY.

SHE WAS A F***ING B*TCH.

YOU SURE SWEAR:

A LOT, PERRY.

WHAT? B*TCH?

PERRY.

HA-HA, ARE YOU A B*TCH?

NO. QUIT IT.

B*TCH. HA-HA-HA.

HUH?

QUIT IT, PERRY.

HUH?

SAY IT. SAY IT.

I'M A B*TCH.

TAKE IT OUT.

TAKE IT OUT!

GO ON.

[ SIGHING ]

[SPITTING 1

TASTES LIKE PEE.

KEEP DOING IT.

OW! F***, THAT HURT.

PERRY.

WHAT THE F*** IS

THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I'M SORRY.

WOULD YOU STOP F***ING

SAYING THAT? ALL RIGHT?

I'M NOT MAD AT YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

PERRY, WHA ARE YOU DOING?

SHH.

PERRY?

HOLD STILL.

I'M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU.

ALL RIGHT?

PERRY.

SPREAD YOUR LEGS.

FURTHER.

THAT'S IT. SHH.

I'M JUST GOING TO PU IT IN A LITTLE.

PERRY...AH, AH.

THAT'S NOT SO BAD, RIGHT?

YOU OK?

GOD, YOU'RE F***ING TIGHT.

IT FEELS JUST LIKE A P*SSY.

AHH!

AH, AHH!

AH...AH, AHH...AHHH.

MY DAD SAYS WE MIGH BE GETTING A NEW CAR.

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

YOU SEEN OUR OLD ONE?

MY MOM CAN HARDLY DRIVE I 'CAUSE THE STEERING WHEEL

SHAKES SO BAD.

YOU HEAR IT COMING

FROM A MILE AWAY

'CAUSE THE MUFFLER FELL OFF.

IT'S F***ING EMBARRASSING.

DON'T TELL

MY DAD, OK?

THAT'S WHY SHE DRIVES THE TRUCK.

CAN YOU:

UNDO IT?

[ GARAGE DOOR

OPENING ]

I WAS TRYING TO TAKE IT OFF.

I COULDN'T GET IT OFF.

YOU GO ON HOME, PERRY.

GO IN THE HOUSE.

AND TAKE THA THING OFF.

I CAN'T--

I SAID, TAKE IT OFF!

I CAN' UNDO IT.

I'M SORRY.

DON'T TALK

TO ME.

[CLUCKING 1

GET UP.

I'M UP.

[STRAINING]

HEY!

WASH UP BEFORE YOU SIT DOWN.

YOU HEAR ME?

GET UP.

MOVE IT.

NOT SO EASY, IS IT? HMM?

I DO IT EVERY GODDAMN DAY.

YOU'RE WEAK.

HOW YOU EVER GOING TO

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, HUH?

HMM?

GET UP.

GODDAMN IT, DUNCAN,

GET YOUR FILTHY ASS

OFF YOUR MOTHER'S SOFA...NOW!

IN CASE YOU:

HAVEN'T NOTICED,

SHE'S DEAD.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

HUH?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

YOU CAN'T EVEN GET INTO

TROUBLE LIKE A NORMAL BOY.

ALL RIGHT.

GODDAMN, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

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