The Monster Squad Page #2

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(SEAN) Good one, Fat Kid. Excellent question.

(RUDY) Uh, stake through the heart.

(SEAN) RIGHT. (FAT KID) What else?

(PATRICK) Oh, real good.

(SEAN) EUGENE. (EUGENE) I wasn't talking.

Get him in a muzzle, will ya? It was Pete.

(RUDY) You guys meet up here a lot, or, uh...

Every day.

(PATRICK) Do we meet up here a lot?

Eugene! Man! (DOG BARKS)

Eugene, make Pete shut up.

(FAT KID) Do you really think that was a good question?

(SEAN) Rudy! Are you gonna listen or look out the window?

(PATRICK) I told you he didn't want to be in the club.

Lighten up, Patrick.

(RUDY) No way!

Hey, we're tryin' to do the test here, you know.

You're gonna piss him off.

I'm beginnin' to like this club.

Rudy! Come on. It's a monster test.

It's important. Okay?

Second way to kill a vampire.

Mmm... I give up.

Daylight.

Sunlight. Ha ha ha! Fat Kid, what other kind of light is there durin' the day?

Go away, Pete! Okay, question two.

Is Frankenstein the name of the monster or the guy who made him?

The guy. Right.

(KNOCK KNOCK)

Can't you read?

Mom said you have to let me in the club, or else it's prescruption.

That's discrimination, jerkoid.

"Prescription" is drugs, which you're on if you think you're gettin' up here.

Come on, Sean! I know about monsters.

Come on! Let me in the club! Two ways to kill a werewolf.

Silver bullet?

And?

That's it. Shoot him with a sliver bullet.

Nope. Sorry, Rudy.

Ha ha!

Okay, so, what's the other way?

What?

Second way to kill a werewolf?

Um... Car crash?

Accident with power tools?

Old age? Falling out a window.

Onto a bomb! (WOMAN) Sean! Phoebe! Dinner!

Oops. Gotta go.

Wait. Am I in or what?

(ANNOUNCER CHATTING ON TV)

I mean it, spaz.

(PHOEBE) You gotta stop it.

Uh, uh, uh, uh!

Wash up for dinner, guys.

(PHOEBE) Boring guy, boring guy, boring guy, boring guy.

What's this, Mom?

Huh? Oh, I got that for you today at Jane Burgess' garage sale.

Says it's from that old house up on Shadowbrook Road.

Holy sh*t! Uh, sor... cow. Um, I'm sorry.

Mom, do you know who wrote this book?

Yeah. It's, what, Van Helsing something.

Now, he's the one that fights Godzilla. Right?

Dracula, Mom.

Well, then which is the really tall one?

That's Godzilla.

My God! Abraham Van Helsing.

This is great!

This is German.

(THUNDER)

(THUNDER)

Let it begin.

(THUNDER)

(THUNDER)

Hey, slick.

Busy day?

Not really.

Shoot any crooks today? Afraid not.

But I still may if you don't wash up for dinner.

(WATER SPLASHES)

What's on your mind?

Well, Dad, uh, some of the guys and me were maybe gonna go see Groundhog Day Part 12 tonight, only if it's okay with you.

Is it? Please?

Oh, we got a problem.

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