The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) Page #6

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Terry's gonna move coln

over to the bullpen.

The mets need a middle reliever.

Yes! All on one tape: Videodrome,

beverally hills cop, spelled wrong,

and... legal eagles!

You have the right to an attorney.

Looks like she's already had her attorney.

Hey...

[Laughing]

Dad, you remember that song I wrote

about that guy who worked at your studio

who you never remembered his name?

His name was Byron

But you called him myron

Three times you called him myron

Till you heard the other guy

say it with a "b"

Byron, myron

Byron, myron

What does it matter

if you look him in the eye?

Say it with confidence

and look him in the eye

Don't check out your shoes

don't glance in the sky

Say it with confidence

and look him in the eye

Myron

Eliza's first movie, okay.

She sent the link.

- What's your passcode?

- Try "Matthew."

Bum, bum, bum

The adventures of pagina man!

- When I get to college, I want to...

- What?

- You know.

- What?

Have sex.

You want to get f***ed?

- I guess.

- She doesn't want to get f***ed.

She wants to do the f***ing.

I'd be happy to...

Feel a cock on your neck?

You want to peel off a band-aid

and f*** the band-aid?

You want to put your ass on his ass,

but a cock?

That cock comes near you,

you bat it away!

Oh, honey, you have so much to learn.

Ping-pong paddle that cock.

- Ping-pong paddle...

- Wait a minute.

What if I can have both?

What if I can be both?

I've got a penis and a vagina.

Call me...

Pagina man.

Pagina man pees where they please.

Pagina man fucks who they please

when they please.

Hello?

Shut up!

Shut up.

I ought to watch this alone first,

I think.

Wow, that was a hard r.

- Oh, come on. He missed the bag.

- You could see he's safe!

- I can see this, the mets don't want it.

- Dad!

[Phone ringing]

Hello? Who?

- L.j., hey.

- They're pinch hitting for degrom.

Shh!

What's that?

He was a talented kid

when he took my class.

Yeah, I think he'd be an able assistant.

Okay, you know, doing the work.

Bard has come to me about a show.

What's the news there?

Oh, I didn't know. How are you doing?

Maureen says they're feting you

at moma... you and Tim Burton.

Right, Matisse and Picasso, too, sure.

Let's get a lunch one of these days.

Are you still in the west village?

Brooklyn!

Or to your opening?

I'm coming if you invite me.

Next Friday? Yes, I think I can make it.

Okay, I'll see you then.

That was a strike. Turn it up.

Was that l.J.?

I always liked l.J.

He says he had a prostate surgery

I didn't know about.

And I really like his work.

The early experimental work was terrific.

You know, he and I showed

at Paula Cooper in the late '60s.

Uh-huh.

I love the '80s stuff, those bears.

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