The Magic Christian Page #3

Winthrop? - Yes. Um, what about,

"There's power to spare...

Under this big baby's

40-foot hood"?

What about it?

Performance.

Me, sir.

Hampton.

Um, "You're sure

to enjoy the big...

Gang's-all-here backseat."

Hampton, try that again

with an American accent.

That was an American accent, sir.

Good lord.

What's going on over there?

[horn honks]

Maltravers.

Uh, getting the feel

of this big baby,

- Mm.

- Has been one...

Grand thrill,

believe you me.

Hmm.

[film stops]

Hmm.

Best sleep on it, eh?

Never one to overextend.

Gentlemen, as you know,

[sniffles]

The family tree over a certain...

Grand guy--

Guy Grand--

Has borne no fruit.

[men murmuring agreement]

The stoutiest efforts

by my sisters and I,

Quite independently, of course,

Has not yielded grand progeny.

By good luck however,

One, perhaps two soiree ago,

I chanced upon a likely lad.

[men murmuring]

And, gentlemen,

May I tell you it was your

proverbial love at first sight.

Paternal, of course.

So, gentlemen,

It is with great pride

and pleasure...

That I introduce you now...

To my only son and "proge,"

Master Youngman Grand, esq.

Hello.

for he's a jolly

grand fellow

for he's a jolly

grand fellow

for he's a jolly

grand fellow

and so say all of us

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You're damned good lads, the lot of you.

- You too, Guy.

- Yes, thank you.

And you're thinking men as well,

If memory serves.

Unfortunately, that fact

is not always reflected...

In our, uh, quarterly reports.

Anyway, gentlemen,

may I take a page...

From our own late, great

Rudy the Kip Kipling?

Let our Kipling speak.

"There was a young lady

from Exeter...

"and all the young men...

"threw their sex at her.

"Just to be rude,

she lay in the nude...

"while her parrot, the pervert,

Took pecks at her."

[brakes screeching]

Gentlemen, my man Jeff

has your envelopes.

Please do not open them

until you are outside.

Inside you will find a month's

generous remuneration,

A map containing a clue as

to your present whereabouts,

And a set of day-glo references...

To present to your

next lucky employer.

Leave your flowers and your pencils

on the table as you go, would you?

Lord Hampton?

Lord Hampton?

[men chattering indistinctly]

Lord Hampton?

Milk or lemon, Esther?

Both, please.

Hello, dears.

Ah, there you are, Guy.

Oh, angel's passing.

Guy, Guy, always on the go.

We're just having tea, darling.

You will join us?

Now you will take tea, Youngman?

This is bloody North America.

What's yours? I don't know.

I've been fired before,

but never in Afghanistan.

Scone, Guy?

I-I-I think not, darling.

Hello, family Grand!

[Agnes] Just in time for tea.

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