The Magic Christian

Synopsis: Sir Guy Grand adopts homeless bum Youngman to be heir to his obscene wealth, and immediately begins bringing him into the intricacies of the family business, which is to prey upon people's greed by use of the vast holdings of the Grand empire. They leave no stone unturned as sporting events, restaurants, art galleries, and traditional pheasant hunts turn into lurid displays of bad manners and profiteering. Things climax at the social event of the season, the inaugural voyage of the new pleasure cruiser The Magic Christian.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Joseph McGrath
Production: Commonwealth United Entertaime
 
IMDB:
6.1
Rotten Tomatoes:
56%
M
Year:
1969
92 min
57 Views

[choir singing]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is

what is commonly known as "money."

It comes in all sizes, colors

and denominations, like people.

We'll be using quite a bit

of it in the next two hours.

Luckily, I have enough

for all of us.

[man singing]

- [yelps]

- [fades]

[bell tolling]

[big ben chiming ten times]

Here, here. Here, here.

No sleepin' on the grass.

No sleepin' on the grass is

allowed in the park. All right.

Get out of here. Get out of here.

Get off!

in younger days

I told myself

my life would be my own

and I'd leave the place

where sunshine never shone

for my life's too short

for waiting

when I see the rising sun

[indistinct chatter]

then I know again

that I must carry on

carry on till tomorrow

What you wearin' them

glasses for?

Oh, the light.

It hurts my eyes.

You a bloody celebrity?

[cackling]

carry on

carry on

[shouting indistinctly]

beyond the shadows

of the clouds

and onward to the sky

carry on

till I find

the rainbow's end

for my life's

too short for waiting

when I see the rising sun

then I know again

that I must carry on

carry on

till tomorrow

there's no reason

to look back

carry on

carry on

carry on

drifting on the wings

of freedom

leave this stormy day

and we'll ride

to tomorrow's

golden fields

for my life's

too short for waiting

when I see the rising sun

then I know again

that I must carry on

carry on

carry on

carry on

Good morning.

You feeding the ducks?

Yes, I feed them every morning.

You mind if I join you?

No, no.

I come here every morning.

and when the heavy

journey's done

[indistinct chatter]

I'll rest my weary head

for the world

and its colors

will be mine

for my life's too short

for waiting

when I see the setting sun

then I know again

that I must carry on

carry on till tomorrow

there's no reason

to look back

carry on

carry on

carry on

Look, please.

Don't go.

Listen, please.

I say, don't go.

[chatter continues

indistinctly]

carry on

carry on

carry on

carry on

carry on

Well, then, Youngman Grand.

Father.

[church bells tolling]

Good-bye.

Thank you, Pontius.

Thanks for the new suit.

It's very nice.

My pleasure, Youngman.

My pleasure.

One has to be smart when observing

the effects of money on the arts...

And mr. And mrs. First-Nighter.

Good gentlemen, give

him a further edge.

And drive his purpose

on to these delights.

We shall, my lord.

Sweet gertrude,

leave us too.

For we have closely sent

for hamlet hither,

That he, as t'were

by accident,

May here affront ophelia.

Her father and myself,

lawful espials,

Will so bestow ourselves,

that, seeing, unseen--

[whispers] Hello. Hello, sir.

The third act's

just started.

Rosencrantz and guildenstern

just went off somewhere.

Hello.

Guy, you are rather late.

The third act's begun. You barely

nearly missed the nicest part.

The chopper was delayed. Anyway,

this is the bit I'm really keen on.

And as you say,

it is the nicest part.

[orchestra]

[ends]

to be...

I've seen it.

Or not to be?

Shakespeare, right?

Right and double right.

Whether 'tis nobler

in the mind...

To suffer the slings

and arrows of...

Outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms...

Against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing...

[rim shot]

End them?

[cowbell clunks]

- [burlesque]

- to die,

To sleep.

-No more. -Agnes, Esther, I would

like you to meet my newly-adopted son,

Youngman.

Youngman, these are my old dear sis-

ters, Agnes and Esther-- your aunts.

How do you do?

Hello, auntie. Hello.

[continues]

to die,

To sleep.

To sleep.

Perchance to dream.

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Terry Southern

Terry Southern (May 1, 1924 – October 29, 1995) was an American novelist, essayist, screenwriter, and university lecturer, noted for his distinctive satirical style. Part of the Paris postwar literary movement in the 1950s and a companion to Beat writers in Greenwich Village, Southern was also at the center of Swinging London in the 1960s and helped to change the style and substance of American films in the 1970s. He briefly wrote for Saturday Night Live in the 1980s. Southern's dark and often absurdist style of satire helped to define the sensibilities of several generations of writers, readers, directors and film goers. He is credited by journalist Tom Wolfe as having invented New Journalism with the publication of "Twirling at Ole Miss" in Esquire in February 1963. Southern's reputation was established with the publication of his comic novels Candy and The Magic Christian and through his gift for writing memorable film dialogue as evident in Dr. Strangelove, The Loved One, The Cincinnati Kid, and The Magic Christian. His work on Easy Rider helped create the independent film movement of the 1970s. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"The Magic Christian" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 15 Dec. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_magic_christian_13161>.

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