The Lords of Salem Page #3

"real witches" in Salem?

Well, today there's a large

Wiccan population.

They're a positive earth-centered religion.

Yeah, hairy armpits and granola.

I don't dig it.

I shave my armpits.

- That's a pity.

- Hm.

You know, classic witches.

No, there are no classic witches, actually.

Witchcraft is nothing but

a psychotic belief

brought upon

by a delusional state of mind.

Windy, I can't make an exception.

The oven's already off.

Look, I got a couple calzones left.

I can drop 'em off on my way home.

How's that?

Bye-bye.

- Violence on Monday...

- ... appears...

The Truth about the Salem Witch Trials.

So, check it out.

Hey, everybody.

What do you think it's time for?

Smash or Trash.

I believe Heidi is gonna provide us

with our first victim.

That's right.

This one is a little different from most.

I have no info on where this came from.

All I know is the group is called the Lords.

I assume they're from around here,

so we'll just call them the Lords of Salem.

Francis, we'd like to thank you

for coming in.

- You've been a great guest.

- Well, thank you for having me.

Alright, open up the phone lines

and lets hear what everyone has to say.

Phones are now open,

so get ready to smash or trash.

Can you mute that?

It's giving me a headache.

Thanks.

May I ask you,

where did you get that music from?

According to our receptionist,

it just appeared,

with nothing but a note for me.

It specifically came just to you?

Uh, yeah, very specifically.

I didn't think anyone knew my real name.

F***ing internet.

Yeah. Well, I'm just gonna

mosey on home now,

get the critique from the wife, so...

- Have fun.

- Thank you.

Bye-bye.

- I'm home!

- Hola.

I hate this broken door.

So, did you listen? How was it?

Did I listen? Did I listen?

Of course I listened.

- You were fantastic.

- Yeah?

And I recorded you

so you could hear yourself back.

Oh, no, I hate the sound of my voice.

Imagine me.

I have to listen to it every day.

So did you...

Did you record the music that they played?

Oh. Yeah.

You know, I can't believe the noise

that masquerades as music today.

- You know?

- I know.

You know, I'm hungry.

I'm hungry. Are you?

I'm going to reheat

some of the leftover pasta.

I wanna... listen to that music again.

Something about it really upsets me.

Just...

Especially the name, Lords of Salem.

Where have I heard that?

You really think that Francis guy's cute?

Are you serious?

I mean, come on. Francis?

What kind of name is that?

Don't be jelly.

I'll see you kids tomorrow.

And you, you get some sleep, would you?

You look exhausted.

Ah, thanks. You make me feel so pretty.

You know what I mean, string bean.

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