The Lords of Salem Page #2

Yeah. Dead hair.

Dead air.

Oh.

Well, how about this?

In Ukraine,

music always delivered in wooden box.

Sure, whatever.

Ah, thick vinyl. Strong like bear.

Whoa! Sorry.

I think I owe you a new needle.

- Well...

- Let me try this again.

Damn.

What are you doing?

Oh.

It's really f***ed-up sounding.

We should smash or trash this tomorrow.

Hey, you all right? Are you cool?

Breed this new world

with the blessed spawn of your glory.

Your vile taste sickens me.

Remove this hideous creature.

Sisters, we have failed.

Hey. you OK?

Are you cool?

I suddenly got super tired.

Oh, well, yeah, no, I mean, I'll go.

I got a long ride home.

You can crash on the couch if you want.

Really? The couch?

Yeah, really, the couch.

Even though I had a mum

who was a drug addict,

it still felt so really attractive

for some reason,

even after years

of watching her go downhill.

I just knew that somewhere along the line,

I was gonna have to try it for myself

I wasn't the kind of guy who would really

learn from other peoples mistakes.

That was just not the way

I did it, you know.

If I did it, I was gonna do it and I was

gonna learn the lesson the hard way,

which I did, repeatedly.

So here I am, not wanting to learn

from other people's mistakes

and I'm trying to help you guys

learn from my mistakes,

even though I still struggle every day

with everything that I've ever learned

over the last 12 years.

- Thank you. That was great.

- Thank you. Thank you for coming.

I'm off dairy.

Attention all cows on the eastern seaboard.

Herman is off dairy.

Wait a minute. You're off dairy?

And gluten free.

- Do you even know what gluten free is?

- Of course.

I just saw you eat a grilled cheese

five minutes ago.

- I like cheese!

- Sandwiches don't count.

Um, bread and cheese.

Mm-hm.

Anyway, if you're just tuning in,

we've been chatting with Francis Matthais,

author of the book Satan's Last Stand. "

The Truth about the Salem Witch Trials.

You look very handsome

on the back cover here.

Thank you.

Is that why you took the book

into the bathroom, Heidi?

You are such a perv.

That's a very intriguing tattoo.

- Oh, thank you.

- It's really kind of mesmerizing.

Ah.

Whoa, Francis. Restrain.

OMG, stop looking at my titties!

I have a wife. Alice, if you're listening,

please do not change the locks.

It doesn't stop Heidi, don't worry.

All right, so, Francis,

how many people were actually executed

during the Salem witch trials?

Well, approximately 25,

if you include the accused witches

that died in prison.

Come on, 25? Are you serious?

I mean, I have to admit

I'm a bit disappointed with the number.

Were there any quote, unquote,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes