The LEGO Batman Movie Page #3

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Kiss me, Batman.

- Who's the manliest man?

- Ugh!

Batman!

- With the buns of steel?

- Batman!

'Puter.

- Who could choke-hold a bear?

- Batman!

- Who never skips leg day?

- Batman!

Who always pays their taxes?

Not Batman

How is he beating all of you again?

Because...

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I'm Batman!

It's gonna blow!

I'm Batman!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

I'm Batman!

Hi, Batman!

So weird to keep running into you.

Batman!

Looks like your plan failed.

Well, it's only a matter of time

before I take over Gotham City.

When has that ever happened? Computer!

Calculating. Never.

You know why?

Because I'm always one step ahead of you.

And I always get away!

Not this time.

'Cause this time

I got you.

Oh, yeah?

Well, there's only one problem.

Who's gonna defuse the bomb?

It's gotta be one or the other, Batman.

Save the city,

or catch your greatest enemy.

You can't do both.

I'm sorry, what did you just say?

You can't do both, I said.

No, I mean the other thing.

Save the city,

or catch your greatest enemy.

You think you're my greatest enemy?

Yes! You're obsessed with me!

No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are.

- No, I'm not.

Yes, you are! Who else drives you

to one-up them the way that I do?

- Bane.

- No, he doesn't!

- Superman.

- Superman's not a bad guy!

Then I'd say that I don't

currently have a bad guy.

I am fighting a few different people.

What?

I like to fight around.

Okay, look, I'm fine with you

fighting other people

if you wanna do that,

but what we have is special.

So, when people ask you

"Who's your number one bad guy?"

you say...

Superman.

Are you seriously saying

that there is nothing,

nothing special about our relationship?

Whoa.

Let me tell you something, J-bird.

- Batman doesn't do 'ships.

- What?

As in "relationships."

There is no "us."

Batman and Joker are not a thing.

I don't need you.

I don't need anyone.

You mean nothing to me.

No one does.

Hurray! Batman!

You did it!

You're welcome.

- Thank you, Batman.

- Oh, my pleasure.

Batman, we love you!

Thank you!

I'm blushing super hard under the mask.

- Grazie, Batman!

- Prego.

- You're the best, Batman!

- Oh, I'm humble.

- Thanks, Batman!

- I'm super modest about it. Thank you.

- Batman, you're the greatest!

- Oh, pray hands, pray hands.

- Thanks for saving the city!

- You're welcome.

Batman, I love you more than my kids!

So do I, guy!

You're our hero, Batman!

I love my life.

Computer.

Go ahead.

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