THE IT CROWD (2006–2013) Page #5

Season #1 Episode #1 - 'Yesterday's Jam'

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Jen:
They are gorgeous. Were they expensive?

Laura:
No, no, no. Got them in the sale.

Jen:
Oh God, clever you. I'm never lucky enough to get a bargain like that.

Laura:
Well, I should take you shopping.

Jen Yeah, no that would be fantastic. Yeah, nice to meet you.

Roy:
Nice meeting you.

Moss:
Chairman wow! You've just diffused that entire situation.

Jen:
What situation? Oh that, yeah. Oh my God, does that happen a lot?

Moss:
They're fairly regular the beatings, yes. I'd say we're on a bi-weekly beating.

Roy:
Oh it's not all that bad.

Moss:
Come on Roy, it's pretty bad.

Jen:
Maybe I could help with this, you know, I mean, I'm a people person, and people like you need a person to deal with people; a people person like me. Oh my God. Ideas are coming, things are happening here. Okay, okay. What would you say, yeah, if I told you I had a plan to raise your profile upstairs by 100%. What would you say?

Moss:
It can't be done. You're crazy.

Jen:
What would you say Roy? Roy's passed out. Okay, I need a felt tipped pen, and some paper.

(cue A Team theme)

Scene 8

Roy:
Really really, it was a true story. Unbelievable.

Office girl:
I don't know why we don't go out with you IT guys more often. You're hilarious!

Roy:
Yes, we are!

Jen:
You guys should come down here more often. You should see this as a new era for Reynholm Industries.

Roy:
"A new era for Reynholm Industries"

Oh, you what, if you want to hear something really funny, a really funny story, you should hear what happened to Moss and I when we were so drunk in Amsterdam that Moss lost his glasses. Moss! Moss! Come here, come here. Tell them that story about when we were drunk in Amsterdam.

Moss:
Really?

Roy:
Yeah, yeah. Oh It's brilliant, this is a great story, you're gonna love it. I'm just gonna get another box of wine.

Office guy:
Well, go on then.

Moss:
All right. Well. One night we really drunk, and err... we were so drunk that we decided to hire prostitutes.

(the laughter falls silent. Jen spits out her drink)

But when they arrived at the hotel we were too scared to do anything so we brought them to a fair. They were really nice. In the end they only charged us half but we did have to pay for all the rides.

Roy:
Haha! Oh isn't that just the best story.

Moss:
You told me to never tell that story to anyone.

Roy:
What are you talking about? That's a brilliant story and then you walked into the canal. Has it got to that part with the boat man?

Moss:
Oh, you mean the story where I lost my glasses.

Roy:
Yes. What story did you think I meant? Moss? What did you say? What did you say?

Scene 9

Jen:
It's alright for you two. You're used to being social piranhas. I'm a very popular person usually.

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