The Interestings Page #2

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Gosh, Ash, maybe you are God.

- No, don't!

- Maybe you are God, Ash.

- Ooh!

- You're not ticklish anymore?

- Stop!

- I don't know.

I just dance because I love it.

I've never really wanted

to do anything else...

except I'm probably f***ed

because of these sacks of mail.

I doubt your bodacious ta-tas

are gonna stand in your way.

It's not funny, Goodman.

How many ballerinas do

you know with big tits?

- Hey, calm down.

- What am I supposed to do?

Quit?

No, nothing should stand in our way.

We should try to do

whatever we want to in life.

What is the point otherwise?

All right.

So, Jonah, have you given any

thought to a future career?

- [laughter]

- [gasps]

There's a girl in our

cousin's school in Pennsylvania

- named Crema Semens.

- No.

- You made that up.

- No, she didn't.

Ash never lies. It's one of the

most irritating things about her.

- Crema Semens?

- Yes.

It's like... it's, like, a soup

made from various strains of semen.

A medley of semen.

Ew, Ethan, you're being totally graphic.

Well, he is a graphic artist.

Hey, show her some Planet Figman.

This is Wally Figman

and his horrible parents

before his mother runs

off with his pediatrician.

Any similarities between

Wally's life and my own

- are purely intentional.

- [chuckles]

- The world according to Ethan Figman.

- Can I see?

[blues guitar]

Which one's that?

I haven't seen that one.

I think we should all

observe a moment of silence

for Crema Semens.

Well, the girl from Long Island speaks.

- Hey!

- You're being elitist.

Jacobson knows that I'm kidding.

Right, Long Island?

Oh, Crema Semens!

Wherever thou art!

Your life will be tragic.

It will be cut short

in an accident involving

animal de-semenizing equipment.

[laughter]

See? I told you there was

a reason I brought her in.

- Desemenizing! Go, Jules!

- Go, Jules!

Here you go, Jules. You have

definitely earned another toke.

Every year we sit here just like this.

Maybe we should name

ourselves something.

Why? So everyone will know how

just how unbelievably

interesting we are?

The Interestings.

- [chuckling]

- That works!

From this day forward,

because we are clearly

the most interesting people

- whoever f***ing lived.

- F***, yes.

Because our lives are so compelling.

Because our brains are so swollen

with intellectual thoughts.

Let us henceforth be

known as the Interestings!

Let everyone who sees us be blinded

by our brilliant and

scintillating lives.

[overlapping chatter]

- Come on.

- Oh, thank you.

- Toast to the Interestings!

- To our scintillating lives!

Whoo!

You sure you don't wanna come?

I can still get the sitter.

It'll be good to get out, you know?

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