The Infidel Page #2
or I can't marry uzma.
Give me one thing.
Give me one thing guaranteed
to make me less calm
Than inviting
arshad al-f***ing-stalin
Into my family.
Look.
I just parked
for two minutes!
It was two minutes!
This is my dead mum!
My dead mum!
Tossers!
I don't believe it!
[ panting ]
They never come
'round this way,
Not this time
on a Thursday...
Not unless
someone was...
Was that you?
You f***ing...
What's your problem,
man?
my dead mother's house here!
You got something
against my family?
Is that what it is?
Against mini-cab owners?
Right, yeah, I got it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[ laughs ]
It's muslims, isn't it?
Muslims.
Come out here.
Stop it. Leave it.
Dad, leave it.
F***ing come out here!
Just leave it.
All right, I'm easy. Easy.
All right, I'm calm.
Stop! Dad, stop it!
Come here!
It's not worth it!
Stop it!
They think
they own the world.
Come on. A minute ago,
it was just the road.
I don't mean cabbies.
The car's at the pound
in charlton street.
I love this one.
Never knew what it meant.
shall be in paradise."
Ah. Yep.
Yep, of course.
Because the prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam was an orphan.
I knew that, rashid.
His father died
before he was born.
You know,
I've read my qur'an.
Yeah, well, the qur'an never
actually mentions his parents.
Anyway, dad,
here's the thing --
I really want
to marry uzma,
And I know her stepdad
might seem a little strict.
Yeah.
But we need him to think
we're proper muslims.
[ scoffs ]
we are proper muslims.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
you know?
Rashid, listen.
Look, I may not say my namaz
five times a day, okay?
I may not even,
you know, fast
Every day
of ramadan, you know?
And, now and again,
A small sip of the old pale ale
passes my lips.
But in here, in here,
by the name of the prophet,
Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
allah lives, okay?
Come on.
Okay, dad.
Of course.
I just need that
to be clear, you know?
When the time comes,
what they would have wanted.
[ sighs ]
you're right.
All right.
I promise, okay?
I promise that when
fundamentalist fatty fatwa face
Comes around...
Dad.
...I'll be very --
don't do that.
I'm joking.
I promise that
when uzma's stepdad pops by,
I will be the best muslim
I can be.
Hey?
Thanks, dad.
Come on.
Thanks.
Come on,
let's finish up the job.
Subhan'allah,
look at all this stuff.
God, my dad's military service,
discharge certificate.
You got mum's
birth certificate.
You got my birth...
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"The Infidel" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_infidel_10821>.
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