The Hot Chick Page #4
Ugh! Ohh!
[ Groaning ]
Aah! Ohh!
Ugh! Oh! Aah!
Aah! Agh! Oh! Ugh!
Agh! Ohh!
[ Crying ] Oh, my God!
My eyes burn!
I can't breathe!
This morning,|I woke up a man!
This is by far|the worst day of my life!
[ Panting ]
April!
Do you remember|in second grade
[ Sniffles ] when you moved here|from Arkansas?
Everybody threw rocks|at you...
because you talked funny
and your front two teeth|were brown!
[ Gasps ]
I was your only friend.
I gave you that locket|around your neck
when your grandmother|was sick.
And you said...
you said...
We'd be bestest friends|forever.
[ Coughs, sniffles ]
[ Gasps ]
Boys are cheats and liars.
They're such a big disgrace.
TOGETHER:
They will tell you|anything to get to second...Baseball, baseball,|he thinks he's gonna score.
If you let him go all the way,|then you are a...
Hor...ticulture studies flowers.
Geologist studies rocks.
The only thing|a guy wants from you
is place to put his...
Cock...roaches, beetles,
butterflies, and bugs.
Nothing makes him happier|than a giant pair of...
Jug...glers and acrobats,|a dancing bear named Chuck.
All guys really want to do is...|forget it, no such luck.
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
[ Gasps ]
How did this happen?
[ Whines ]
I don't know what to do.
Okay, okay.
[ Bell rings ]
[ Sighs ]
Here.
Go to my house|and wait for me in my room.
Don't worry. We're gonna|figure this thing out.
Here.
You are my bestest,|bestest friend.
[ Sniffles ]
Ow! Ow!
Ow.
Watch the beard.
Sorry.
[ Roxy Saint's "Firecracker"|plays ]
Oh!
So, come on, baby, listen
With 20/20 vision
I knock out competition
Hi.
[ Coughs ]
Okay, so, listen,|she bought it.
I told your mom|you're going on that ski trip,
and that'll at least|buy us the weekend.
You think I'll be stuck|like this all weekend?!
[ Cries ]
[ Buzzes ]
Ow!
Aah!
[ Grunting ]
Oh!
Gross.
[ Buzzing ]
Agh!
I've got hair everywhere...
in my nose, in my ears,|on my chin.
I'm afraid to look|anywhere else.
[ Shudders ]
It's like I'm an ad for hair.
Okay, well, listen,|maybe this will help.
Okay.
Ahh...
Yeah.
Okay. Against the grain.
- Okay, ready?|- Mm-hmm.
Hold still.
- [ Rip ]|- Aaah!
Grrrah! Agh!
Ow.
Uh...
Ow.
So...
[ Grunts ]
So, uh...
What?
Do you really have a penis?
April!
Can I see it?
What is the matter with you?!
I don't think you get the|gravity of the situation here.
You're right.|You're right. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Can I see it?
W... what is your problem?
What?
It's not every day that|your best friend grows a penis.
Do you want to see it?
Okay, fine...
if it'll shut you up.
[ Laughs ]
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"The Hot Chick" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_hot_chick_20459>.
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