The Grass Is Greener Page #3

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'Cause if you are

I shall defend the action

because there is no sign

on this door saying private.

Oh, yes there is.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

No, I beg your pardon,

Ma'am. For intruding, I mean.

- Oh, someone must've taken it down.

- Yes, Ma'am.

Yes, and in England we

only call the Queen Ma'am.

In the United States we try to make up for

having no royalty by calling everyone Ma'am.

And now would you be good

enough to put it back?

Put what back?

The notice you remove from the

door. It's there on the floor.

Oh!

Must've fallen down.

Rubbish, you put it there.

I think I deserve an explanation.

Oh it's quite simple really.

As I had said. I spent a...

wonderful hour going

through your beautiful home.

Oh, you mean house, don't you?

You could hardly call a place a home

when people only have to pay two

and six pence to walk all over it.

So, not content with

seeing the public rooms

you wanted to see the private

ones as well, is that it?

Let's just say I was curious to

see the people who live in them.

Well, nowadays, I'm afraid

an Englishman's home is not his castle,

it's his income, and it's unfair

of you to take advantage of it.

Yes, Ma'am.

I mean, no Ma'am.

I don't mean no Ma'am, uh...

I just remember not to

say Ma'am. That's all.

Yes, well. Don't

worry about it anymore.

Thank you.

You are Lady Rhyall, aren't you?

Yes.

Well, I'm very glad to meet you.

How do you do.

Yes, you'd sort of have

to be, wouldn't you?

Well, why?

Well, you're perfect type-casting.

Oh, don't tell me you're

in the film industry.

Hardly, no.

I'm an oil man.

- Oh, you're a millionaire.

- As a matter of fact, I am.

Oh.

Well.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Tell me, why were you so uh...

why were you so sure

I was a millionaire?

Well, nearly all the

Americans I meet seem to be.

Especially the oily ones.

Well, I hoped you'd be impressed.

As a matter of fact,

I am. Just a little.

Have you been a millionaire

for quite some time?

I guess I have at that.

Tell me.

Why do you think I'm type-casting?

Oh well.

Well you're cool and elegant.

You're at ease.

And um...

And what?

And very lovely.

I suppose you're a millionaire because

you insist upon value for money.

I must say you are getting your

half-crown's worth, aren't you?

I'm an American, I say what I think.

And hesitate before you say it.

A Frenchman would never have hesitated.

And an Englishman?

Ooh, an Englishman

would never have said it.

You mean an Englishman would never

tell a married woman she was lovely?

Oh, no, no, I don't mean that. It's just

that he usually tells the husband first.

What's the point in that?

Oh, because he knows the

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