The Fluffy Movie: Unity Through Laughter Page #3
and say, "Really, bro?
"You're going to put
that in your mouth?
"Do you know what that's
going to do to your body?
"Hey! Have some self-re..."
He doesn't. He really doesn't, so...
So let me tell you guys.
I'm in the doctor's office,
and he tells me.
He says, "Listen, Gabriel,
obviously working out isn't cutting it.
"I have a friend who
specializes in gastric bypass,
"and I think it would
benefit you greatly
"to at least listen to what the
guy has to say. It couldn't hurt."
So he hands me a card.
The card says, "BH Surgical Center."
I make an appointment.
I show up to this place.
I get to the door.
The door doesn't say,
"BH Surgical Center."
It actually says,
"Center for the Morbidly Obese."
Yeah. That sh*t's not cure.
So I figure I'm there, I might as
well check it out, so I walk in.
I go over to the receptionist,
and I ask, "Um, right spot?"
And she was cool. She was like,
"Yes, sir, you're in
the right location."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Absolutely."
"Why does it say,
"Center for the Morbidly
Obese' on the door?"
"The doctors prefer it that way."
"Why don't you have
that on the card?"
"'Cause then you won't come in.
"First time?"
"Yeah, first time."
So she hands me a clipboard,
and she goes,
"Please take this clipboard,
and have a seat.
"They'll call you in a few minutes."
So I turn around, and I
sit down on this couch,
and I start filling
out the paperwork.
And it wasn't like insurance
forms and stuff like that.
It was actually more of
like a questionnaire.
They ask you a bunch of questions,
and you have to answer from one to 10
how unhealthy you think you are,
and it's not going good. It's not.
I'm like, "Uh, frigging eight,
eight, nine, nine, nine, nine,
"10, nine, nine, 10, nine,
"10,10,10,10,10,10,10."
And as I'm filling our the paperwork,
outside the door, I hear...
All of a sudden, the door opens up,
and this dude walks in...
I was like, "Oh, my God!
You're morbid."
Immediately, my score got better.
I'm like, "Shoot.
"I'm a four, four, three,
three, three, two, two, two,
"one, one, one, one,
one, one, one, one, one.
"I'm healthy by default."
He makes his way over
to the receptionist,
and she's like,
"Are you here for the 8:30?"
"Is this your first time here?"
"Because the doctors
prefer it that way."
"'Cause then you won't
come in. Oh, God!
"Take this clipboard,
and have a seat.
"They'll call you in a few minutes."
So he turns around,
and he looks at me and my sofa,
and he's like...
I swear it was like the opening
scene to the movie Pacific Rim.
He's like...
I was like...
"No! No one's sitting here!"
"Yeah. It's all you, bro."
He turns around,
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"The Fluffy Movie: Unity Through Laughter" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_fluffy_movie:_unity_through_laughter_20235>.
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