The Fixer Uppers Page #2

Why, er... This gentleman

can explain everything.

I remember a fella once

that had a jealous wife...

Scram! You go to your room.

Just a moment.

Don't you fail to be here

tonight at 12 o'clock...

...or I'll track you

to the end of the world.

- I won't, sir.

- Now I'll trouble you for your card.

- Card?

- Yes!

It is the custom of my country

to exchange cards after a challenge.

Have you got a card?

- Thank you.

- Goodbye, sir.

Goodbye.

ARTISTS CAFE:

- Two beers. What'll you have?

- I'll have two beers, too.

- Just two beers.

- Yes, sir.

Well, you put me in

a nice spot, didn't you?

What a nice little fixer upper you are.

You knew a woman once!

- Haven't you done enough to me?

- I couldn't help it.

Isn't it bad enough that

I'm going to be shot at midnight

without you making

my last few hours miserable?

You know what? If you don't show up,

he won't be able to shoot you.

Didn't you hear him say

he'd track me to the end of the earth?

Oh, he's full of baloney.

You're just the same sometimes.

Shoot you! Ha! How can he shoot you

if he doesn't know where we are?

He doesn't know where we live.

He hasn't got the address.

Right! If he can't find me,

he can't shoot me.

Certainly.

Simple.

Why didn't you think of that before

instead of letting me worry?

Selfish.

You better phone him up

and tell him you won't be there.

- He might have something else to do.

- That's a good idea.

And I'll also give him a piece of my mind.

He can't trifle with a Hardy!

Hello?

- Is this Mr Pierre?

- Yes.

I'm the fella that you think

you're going to kill tonight.

Listen to me, you cheap brush-pusher.

If you think I'm going to come over there,

you're crazy.

You'd better be here at 12 o'clock!

If you're not, I'll search every corner

of this town till I find you.

Just a moment.

My friend wishes to speak with you.

Hello? This is me.

Yeah. Say, listen, if you had a face like

mine, you'd punch me right in the nose

and I'm just the fella that can do it.

Pierre! Where are you going?

I'm going to find your lover

and kill him on the spot.

It's a lucky thing for him

I decided not to go up there.

It sure is.

See who that is. It might be him.

Hello.

It sure is.

- Who was it?

- Some fella having a joke.

What did he say?

I said, "Hello,"

and the fella said,

"It's a long distance

from Atlanta, Georgia. '

And I said, "It sure is. ' Silly.

I wish there was some way

to put a stop to those jokers.

They get on my nerves.

Give me a small big one.

- I can't serve you any more.

- Oh, come on.

You want me to lose my licence?

Go on, get out of here.

Say, if you help me out, I'll help you out.

Listen, order me a straight whisky,

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote