The Final Member Page #3
And here is the bottle.
Mr Arason's future resting place.
If he fits there.
So Mr Arason, his letter of donation
was the first in 1996.
Then in 2001
came Tom Mitchell, the American.
Hi, I'm Tom Mitchell,
I'm an American.
And I have decided
to donate my penis
to the only penis museum
in the world,
the Iceland Phallological Museum.
I felt ever since I was a kid
that when the time came
I didn't want my penis
to go to waste when I die
and when I came across
the Iceland Phallological Museum
it seemed like the ideal solution
to a lifelong dream.
I initially did
a letter of donation to Siggi.
an old Icelandic gentleman
who had made a commitment
to donate his penis
upon his death.
I asked if he
would be interested
in a donation
from outside of Iceland.
He responded enthusiastically
at the time.
and he is extremely well endowed.
This is the American, Tom Mitchell.
And with him comes a mould, or cast.
That's a very, very good specimen
and a great girth.
My first wife
came up with the name Elmo
and I'm not really sure
where that came from
but that was a long time before any
Muppets characters were out there.
I don't know really
anything about this guy,
except he has
this great specimen, Elmo.
I started realising that to ask
somebody who was a close friend
to make sure that my sex organs
are cut off my cold, dead corpse
is really just kind of a gross thing
to ask anybody to do,
especially anybody you care about.
And if you want anything done right,
you probably
need to see to it yourself.
So more recently I decided
a good idea to do it before I die.
I can see where
most any rational guy would say
boy, that's an extreme thing to do.
I mean, nobody would really want
I've always had a dream
of not only Elmo being placed
but as a result,
possibly some fame and fortune.
Not for myself, but for Elmo.
I've always thought
for my penis to be the world's first
true penis celebrity.
If a gentleman wants to donate
there are two things
that must be done.
Firstly, there must be
a legally done document
testified by three witnesses.
he must prove it in some way
that he meets the standards of
minimum legal length of five inches.
That's based on this folk tale
about a lady who went to the sheriff
and asked for a divorce because
her husband only had three inches.
Let's get a look
I'll just read it for you.
It goes something like this.
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"The Final Member" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_final_member_20216>.
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