The Fan Page #3

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Half this year and half the next. Yeah.

Well, well, if it isn't Jewel, my favourite

token female sports reporter.

- Blow me, Manny.

- I would, but you haven't had your shots.

There were also bonuses

based on winning the MVP...

I want an interview

with Rayburn, Manny.

Are we talking about "the

overpaid, overrated SOB...

...with the pending divorce Rayburn?

- I call them as I see them.

- Well, you've been crossed off the list.

- I knew you'd understand.

- Deferred payments starting 2007.

Cut the crap. Are you saying there's

no way to get your boy to talk to me?

Is that what you're saying?

He's gotta talk to me.

I'm saying he'd rather nail his penis

to a burning building.

- I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to her.

Checkout this puppy.

The walk and the talk.

How's it walk? How's it talk?

This is the one.

Are you happy with your

current supplier?

Any more of these demonstrations,

I'll have to start shaving my legs.

Renard & Garrity hunting supplies.

The big motherf***er, the little

motherf***er. Which do you want?

Any more demos, I'll have to start

shaving the hairs on my ass.

As you can see, the performance

on this baby is really something.

"Knife doing business.

Come on, bring it, baby. Bring it.

- Jesus Christ.

- Poetry in motion, baby.

- Two behind home plate?

- I'm your man.

Two hundred dollars each.

- Two hundred apiece?

- Two hundred.

- That's a lot. How about 125?

- F*** 125. This is opening day here.

- Two hundred, goddamn it. Jesus.

- Okay, okay, okay.

Now you want the tickets, huh?

Anytime I can do you more f***ing

favours, you just let me know, all right?

You in a coma or what, buddy?

Get the fuckout of here.

- Know what bugs me about you guys?

- Like I care.

You don't even care about the game.

You ebony god, you prince of darkness,

you Othellian Moor, you black man!

You look good out there! You look

good. I bet we hit.400 this year.

- Come on, don't jinx me.

- I'm sorry, man. I get emotional, crazy.

All right, so tell me, what we got?

Spalding wants you to sign their balls.

We got that Wish Upon a Star routine:

Sick kid wants to shake hands with

great ballplayer. You'll have to do.

What do you think? Maybe I should

bring a ball for the sick kid.

No, I think a bat would be much nicer.

All right, here. Give him a bat.

You know it's not a good time for this.

- What's the gentleman's name again?

- His name's Stanley. Stanley Jackson.

Thank you, Michelle.

Stanley, Gil Renard.

Renard & Garrity hunting supplies.

- How do you do?

- How you doing?

Here's my card.

Are you happy

with your current supplier?

- I sure am.

- Well, then let me just...

If you could give me three minutes

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