The Extra Man Page #5

TO THE OPERA AGAIN SOON?

WHY NOT?

WE CAN AFFORD IT.

OH, HENRY,

ONE MORE THING.

I NEVER GOT TO ASK YOU,

HOW DID YOUR EVENING

WITH THE BILLIONAIRESS GO?

WITH VIVIAN?

IT WAS FINE.

EXCEPT SHE STOPPED BREATHING

FOR A FULL MINUTE.

BUT THEN SHE RALLIED.

SHE ALWAYS DOES.

HOW OLD IS SHE?

SHE'S 92.

- 92?!

- YES.

THAT'S A LITTLE OLD

FOR A GIRLFRIEND,

DON'T YOU THINK?

UNFORTUNATELY,

SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.

I'M JUST ONE

OF 20 SYCOPHANTS, REALLY.

FOR YEARS NOW I'VE BEEN

HER FIRST CHOICE,

BUT I COULD BE ON THE OUTS

AT ANY MINUTE.

BARRY BARBARASH WANTS

DESPERATELY TO SEE ME OMITTED.

HE'S SCHEMING

TO BE PERMANENTLY INSTALLED

AS THE RESIDEN ROSEN KNIGHT.

WHAT'S A "ROSEN KNIGHT"?

IT'S A KNIGH WHO BRINGS ROSES.

A "ROSENKAVALIER."

AN ESCORT.

HENRY...

ARE YOU A GIGOLO?

DON'T BE DISGUSTING.

I AM AN "EXTRA MAN."

ALTHOUGH I WOULD ARGUE

I'M SO MUCH MORE THAN "EXTRA."

I'M ESSENTIAL.

DO THESE OLD LADIES

PAY YOU?

OF COURSE NOT,

EXCEPT IN PLEASURE--

A FINE MEAL,

VINTAGE CHAMPAGNE...

AN ORCHESTRA PERHAPS.

YOU SEE,

WOMEN OUTLIVE MEN,

SO THERE'S ALWAYS A NEED

FOR AN EXTRA MAN

AT THE TABLE.

IT MAINTAINS A PROPER

SEATING ARRANGEMENT.

BOY-GIRL, BOY-GIRL.

BUT DON'T THINK

FOR A MOMEN:

THAT IT'S ALL CHAMPAGNE

AND STARDUST.

AN EXTRA MAN MUST BE

EXTREMELY VIGILANT,

ESPECIALLY WHEN DANCING.

THAT'S WHY ESCORTS ARE

OFTEN CALLED WALKERS.

I, HOWEVER,

AM NO MERE WALKER.

WHAT I BRING IS:

THE COMPLETE PACKAGE--

WIT, INTELLIGENCE,

AN UNCOMMON:

JOIE DE VIVRE.

I WISH I HAD:

JOIE DE VIVRE.

THEN I COULD:

BE YOUR ASSISTANT.

YOU'RE VERY YOUNG.

BUT VIVIAN DOES HAVE

A RATHER ATTRACTIVE NIECE.

- SHE MIGHT LIKE YOU.

- THAT WOULD BE INCREDIBLE.

ARE WE HAVING:

A CONVERSATION?

YES, I'D SAY SO.

WELL, IT HAS TO STOP.

WE SHOULD KNOW AS LITTLE

ABOUT EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE.

GOOD RELATIONSHIPS

HAVE THIS FOUNDATION.

NOW GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, HENRY.

( clears throat )

HI, MARY.

OH, HI.

I SEE YOU'RE EATING

IN TODAY TOO.

YEAH, I'M REALLY BEHIND.

- WHAT DID YOU GET?

- ZEN PALATE.

AH, ARE YOU

A VEGETARIAN?

- VEGAN.

- AH.

I'M REALLY ACTIVE

IN ANIMAL RIGHTS.

OH, I WISH

I COULD BE VEGAN,

BUT I REALLY LIKE EGGS.

ALTHOUGH I DO TRY TO ORDER

ONLY FREE-RANGE CHICKEN.

( elevator bell rings )

SO I WENT TO THE OPERA

LAST NIGHT.

- THAT'S COOL.

- IT WAS AMAZING, ACTUALLY.

I'M PRETTY

OPERA ILLITERATE,

SORRY TO SAY.

WELL, MAYBE I COULD

TAKE YOU SOME TIME.

I KNOW HOW:

TO GET IN FOR FREE.

OR WE COULD JUST GO

FOR A DRINK SOMEWHERE

ONE NIGHT.

MAYBE EVEN THIS WEEKEND?

THANKS, LOUIS,

BUT I'M GOING

OUT OF TOWN THIS WEEKEND.

- OH.

- WE'RE PROTESTING

THE BUILDING:

OF A CEMENT PLAN ON THE HUDSON.

ACTUALLY, THIS GUY

I STARTED SEEING

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