The English Teacher Page #5

Not to mention the cost,

with all these crazy special effects,

and, you know,

costumes.

Plus that girl who turns herself

into a bug-monster...

What is that?

This is not Broadway.

I'm painfully

aware of that.

We are dealing

with a limited budget.

But this is about

more than money.

This is about the kids.

to perform the work of a playwright

who used to be one of them.

You want to sell the Board?

You want to sell the parents?

Then sell them

on Jason Sherwood,

a former Kingston High School

student who came back

to inspire

the next generation.

It's a great story,

and I think I know a little something

about great stories.

We'll double

normal ticket sales.

You'll see the people of Kingston

are hungry for something new.

And if it does come down to money,

I'll tell you this.

If we go one penny over budget,

I'll pay for it myself.

Out of my own pocket.

That's how much

I believe in this play.

Phil, what do you think?

All right. Okay.

Hold on now.

We haven't talked

about the ending.

What about the ending?

Oh, it's dark.

"Dark"? Trudie,

it's a teenage girl

who hangs herself and then her dad

blows his freakin' brains out!

You can't do that

on a high school stage!

But everything

hinges on the ending!

It's poetry.

It's Ibsen!

It's a lawsuit

waiting to happen!

The ending would

have to change.

All right.

- We'll cut the ending.

- What?

- What?

- We'll cut it.

Leave it ambiguous.

Yes. Yes, it could

heighten the mystery.

Leave it open

to interpretation.

I like it.

Would Jason

agree to that?

I'm sure he understands,

as we all do,

that one must be flexible

in the name of Theater.

Oh! God, I'll have to start the auditions

by Friday, assemble my crew...

- Carl. Carl! - So much to do,

so little time.

But when the inspiration is there,

it hardly seems like work.

Carl! We can't cut the ending,

we just can't.

It's gonna ruin

the play, it'll kill it!

- Relax.

- No! I won't relax.

I mean... How am I supposed to

explain this to Jason?

Very simply.

Don't.

- Because we're not going to cut it.

- We're not?

No, I just said that to get the go-ahead

from der Fuhrer and his wife.

That's how it works

in show business.

It does? Keep it moving

at all costs.

Believe me, when the entire audience

is bawling on opening night,

even that sub-cretin Phil

will give it his blessing.

- Really?

- Really.

I give you my word.

It's a game, Linda.

And I know

how to play it.

- Oh, my goodness. You must

be freezing! - Oh, I'm fine.

Let's get you some coffee

to warm up. Okay?

Oh, no. I don't want coffee.

I have an ulcer.

- Oh, some herbal tea, then.

- No, no, no. That's fine.

I don't... I don't

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