The English Teacher Page #4

I feel I've been

transformed...

Wait... We should use

that for the posters.

"The Chrysalis will transform you."

Period. "Forever."

Exclamation point.

Linda, I'll do such

fantastic things with it.

I see it all

so clearly up here.

Ah, for the design,

I'm picturing a sort of

Neo-Edwardian-German-

Expressionist gestalt.

But colorful and fun.

- Halle Anderson would make

an ideal lead. - Oh, yes.

And Sheila Nussbaum

as the Irish stepmother.

Oh! She excels at dialect.

I've harvested a bountiful and

talented crop of actors this year!

Do you really

think we can do it?

Oh, we can.

And we must.

Don't you see?

I've become

an artistic zombie,

walking lifelessly through

the same old productions

year after year

after year.

I'm supposed to direct

The Importance of Being Earnest

this semester

for the fifth time.

Try breathing life into

that antiquated sitcom.

And how can I,

after reading this play?

This is O'Neill meets Kafka

meets Spielberg

and then they all

walk into a bar.

It's fresh!

It's new! It's...

It's not gonna

happen, people.

And why is that, Phil?

Because this is not

a high school play, Carl!

What do you know about what is

and isn't a high school play?

I've done 38 productions.

Thirty-eight

over 19 years!

I believe

I'm the authority here.

- No one is questioning your

authority. - Oh, yeah.

- All Phil is saying...

- Phil would be happy

if we put on Our Town

twice a year.

Sue me, I like Our Town.

I think it's wholesome.

- Everybody likes it.

- I... Just for me...

I thought we were doing The Importance

of Being Earnest as the play.

Trudie, if I have to spend

another two months

making trays

of cucumber sandwiches,

I will curl into a fetal

position and die.

like that time you did Oklahoma

with those idiotic masks.

It was in the traditional

Japanese Noh style,

And Lydia Plotke at the Times Leader called

it "profoundly imaginative."

Yeah, well, I thought

it profoundly stank.

This from a man who thinks

American Buffalo

- is about an American buffalo.

- That's what it's called!

Well, in the words of

David Mamet, "F*** you!"

Hey, ya, pal!

Now time out!

Now just dial it down

a notch.

I'm sorry.

Accepted.

Now as for this play,

The Chrysalis.

You know, I am impressed by what

this alumnus has written,

but I have to wonder...

You know, is it appropriate for

a high school audience?

- Yes.

- Right.

- What will the parents think?

- Exactly.

Can we clear it

before the Board?

I'm sorry, what's the actual

issue here?

Hello?

Have you read the thing?

It's got language,

it's got violence...

Obviously we'd tone

all of that down.

That goes without saying.

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