The DUFF Page #6

Even if you weren't in a group,

like Creepy Carrie Raskowitz.

I'm my own best friend.

Did any of these people know where

they stood in the social hierarchy?

Cool socks.

Really dig them.

I wanna make out with your face.

Good, because my face wants you

to make out with it.

Socks?

They...

What the...?

I never knew

why I couldn't talk to Toby.

Now I did.

Because, like everyone else in school,

he knew what I was.

And subconsciously I knew it too.

It was all so easy for Wes.

Look, I'm no wine expert,

but I'm pretty sure

you mix red and white, you get rose.

- He could talk to anyone.

- Wesley.

Back to work.

Take a seat, Mr. Rush.

That's your third F. I don't know

what's going on with you.

But the principal and I talked

and we decided

until you get your grades up,

you're suspended from the team.

Well, can't we talk

to Coach Grant about it?

Yeah, Coach Grant agrees

with my decision.

Okay, okay, look,

I can't lose my scholarship.

It's the only way I can

get into college.

I wish you would've thought

of that before.

You want me to what?

I don't wanna be anybody's

DUFF anymore, okay?

I wanna be my own person.

I'm tired of being the approachable one.

I wanna be the dateable one.

You're asking me for dating advice?

Today of all days? Are you kidding me?

Look, I have a crush on this boy.

His name's Toby Tucker.

Maybe you've heard of him.

Well, I can't seem to talk to him

without making a total ass

of myself, okay?

And you never seem to have this problem.

- Don't you hate me?

- I'm glad you asked. Yes, I do.

But only because you're a dipshit

and a man-whore.

But you're the only one

in this whole school

who told me what was actually going on.

So you're an honest dipshit,

and that's what counts.

- Thanks?

- Can we just...?

Can we just cool it for a second?

Okay, here's my offer.

I will make sure you pass science

if you help me with this.

I mean, you got the easy part.

You could pass science in your sleep.

I have to reverse-DUFF you.

Are you wearing pajamas?

Oh, my God.

You know, I get it Wesley, okay?

I'm disgusting. I'm a swamp thing.

- I'm a regular Bela Lugosi.

- Who?

I can't even believe I thought that

I could ask you something like this.

Just forget it.

You know, have fun playing intramural

Wii golf this season, dick face.

Okay, okay, okay.

Come here.

Look, I'm an idiot.

And idiots don't exactly

give great advice.

Well, look at it this way.

It's not like you could make me

any more awkward, right?

That's true.

See? Idiot.

So, you'll do it?

- Yeah.

- Yes.

On one condition.

You gotta ask me in monster voice.

- Wesley. Monster voice?

- Yeah.

From when we were little?

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