
The DUFF
(5.00 / 1 vote)1
For generations of high-schoolers,
you could only be a jock, a geek,
a princess, a bully, or a basket case.
But times have changed.
Jocks play video games.
Princesses are on antidepressants.
And geeks basically run the country.
I thought we were living
in a brave new world,
But every so often, there's that
one moment in high school
that changes your perspective
on everything.
Showtime.
And for me, it happened senior year,
about a month before homecoming.
I was cruising the halls
with my two best friends.
Jess Harris.
I would bang her so hard,
we'd both need helmets.
Yeah, that's not me.
Casey Cordero.
- I would play "Call of Duty" with her
- Yeah.
- All night.
- Wait, what?
And bang her hard too,
to the point of needing helmets.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That too, yeah.
Nope, not me, either.
Shaw's over. Just Bianca.
That's me.
Martin Van Buren. Nickelback.
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Jess has the hottest ass.
Casey has the hottest rack.
Bianca, she has the hottest friends.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Homecoming tickets, homecoming.
Hey, get your homecoming tickets now.
- Half price now or double at the door.
- We're gonna be late.
Hey, Jess. Hey, Casey.
Homecoming tickets?
- Oh, we bought ours online.
- All right, cool. See you there.
- Thanks.
- And I will not be attending, so...
Oh, my God, you do this
before every dance.
Yeah, but I don't feel like going.
There's a Vincent Price marathon on,
Who's that?
Shit, there's Seor Gomez.
I'm failing Spanish.
Okay.
Mini Stalin, dead ahead.
Meet Madison Morgan.
As she would tell you herself,
she's the hottest girl in school.
Even the gay guys wanna date her.
out of her.
But I wouldn't like it.
Love.
Sorry.
So, yeah, she was a bitch.
Were we fake friends with her? Kind of.
Girls, party at my place.
I'm sure you've heard of it.
Can you make sure you get
an insert shot of them opening it?
Yep, on it.
Oh, yeah, I'm doing a video about
the party for my YouTube channel.
Wow, wait, you're having a party
on a Wednesday?
- On a school night?
- Yeah, I can do that.
Damn, dude. All right.
Well, yeah, we're in.
Bianca, you have to
have an actual invite to get in,
and I only have a certain amount.
But if anything changes,
I'll let you know.
- Problem solved.
- Oh, hey.
Look at that.
Wonderful.
Can't wait.
Should I bring anything or...?
We'll... Okay.
Anupam and Lena, where are we
We thought we would make it about
how the prices of ice cream
have gone up 15 cents
in the cafeteria and...
That's a bit vanilla. Pardon the pun.
But you're missing the meat
of the story.
five days a week,
paid by taxpayer money
that is used to cover us
against pizza-induced diabetes.
Now that's a school lunch story.
Copy that, circle it, write it.
Nailed it. I'm so proud of me.
We came up with that idea
together, but mostly me.
Okay, next up,
final assignment, all right?
It's a doozy, but it's a real feather in
the cap for any reporter worth their salt
the social life of this school.
Anyone?
Not all at once.
No one?
No one at all? Any takers?
Bianca.
Just the gal I was hoping for.
Hello. Okay.
I want you to step out
of your comfort zone
of journalistic gravitas
to an article about homecoming.
Specifically, what homecoming
means to me.
I mean, not to me. I never went
to a dance when I was a kid.
- Kind of a nerd.
- Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Arthur,
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"The DUFF" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 21 Apr. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_duff_20124>.