The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox Page #5

Bluebird?

Uh, I'm fine, thank you.

Tempus "foo-git."

Shop out there's about to close.

All the choice cuts are being

snapped up. You know what I mean?

Bluebird?

Bluebird?

Bluebird?

What's the matter?

It's no use. I can't go.

Why not?

[SIGHS]

You were right all along.

It's not your jaw.

It's your hair.

I know I--

I sound like a silly schoolgirl.

But, um, do you think I could just...

put my fingers in it just once?

Noblesse oblige.

- That's French for "help yourself."

- I know.

Don't you think we could have

just one more little drink?

Like I said, noblesse oblige.

Why don't we finish this stuff

and get on with the evening?

Ma certainmente,

mon cherie.

Which is French for, uh--

- Whatever.

- Whatever. Okay.

[EXHALES]

Ooh, Dirtwater.

It's just so kind of you

to let me do this.

The old noblesse.

But you've got kindness

written all over your face.

Kindness...

generosity--

And charm. Boyish charm.

Got a lot of little boy in me.

That's what does it to them.

[INHALES]

Well, it's certainly doin' it to me.

Yeah. Got a lot of little boy in me.

Most women just wanna put their

arms around me and mother me.

And I bet before they know it,

they got a lot of little boy in them.

That's right, Bluebird.

Had to beat 'em off with clubs.

Everything

from Ethiopian princesses...

to Chinese galley maids.

Outwitted the men...

and charmed the pants off the ladies.

Say, that's a mighty talented

little instrument you got there.

Feels like a warm snake.

I'm so glad you like it.

Don't stop. Keep it up.

If I start screaming,

close in for the kill.

[SNORING]

Honk-honk!

[SHIP'S HORN BLOWING]

Hey, you gotta do

some exercisin', honey.

[COUGHING]

[GROANING]

[SIGHS]

[EXHALES]

Bluebird?

Bluebird.

[GROANS]

Ahh--

[COUGHS]

Oh!

Bluebird?

Bluebird!

[SHOUTING] Bluebird, where is it?

What'd you do with it?

Where is it?

What'd you do with it?

Yes?

[REFINED BRITISH ACCENT]

Excuse me, my good man.

The Josiah Widdicombe party.

Rooms 236, 237 and 238.

Thank you kindly.

[AMERICAN ACCENT]

And put a hold on 239.

[CHATTERING QUIETLY]

May I help you?

Good day, sir.

I'm here for the position of governess

to the family of Josiah Widdicombe.

- Ah. Your name?

- I beg your pardon!

Didn't your receive my wire

that I'd be arriving at 1 0:30?

No, no.

There was no wire.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have

a very full schedule, and I really--

My good man, do you know

to whom you're speaking to?

The name is Swansbury,

as in Duchess of.

Duchess?

Duchess.

I have a copy of the wire.

[GASPS] Oh, dear.

The family crest.

We wear it right over our heart.

Forgive me, Duchess.

- Won't you come in?

- Thank you.

Do you have any strong

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