The Darwin Awards Page #5

---

No. No, dummy. The fish in the trees.

The fish in the...

Everywhere.

They have carbon burns on them.

In this culture, the number

There's a rise in recreational accidents

for men between the ages 40 and 42.

Probably because men of that age can afford

the recreational equipment to do the damage.

Damn.

- Goddamn.

- That's right. Goddamn.

- Uh, what's she get per gallon?

- Who gives a sh*t?

- Ow!

- Watch the tire.

Oh, yeah!

- Ten cylinders, fuel injected!

- F*** you!

Okay? F*** you for having

this truck before I did!

Yeah, f*** me is right, eh?

Sparrow had been in three vehicular accidents.

- Ready, Max?

- But other than that, his record was clean.

Come on, boy. Come on.

Max! Good boy, Max.

This lake sucks. All the ducks are gone!

- Let's get some fish.

- Yeah! Ice fishin'!

- This is gonna take an hour!

- I got a better idea.

Recreational use ofhigh explosives

is illegal in all 50 states.

But about 3,000 times a year, men

like Tom Sparrow seem to find them.

- Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- I got this from Wally down at the plant.

Well, I figure instead of busting our asses...

diggin' a hole in there, we'll just use this.

Hey, sh*t. Be careful with that.

Relax, it's got an extra-long fuse.

Besides, I almost made

quarterback in high school.

- Jesus Christ!

- What are you doin'?

Stop f***in' around! Throw it!

Man.

- This is what it's all about.

- I guess.

Heel, Max!

- You know, Max could get hurt.

- Heel, Max! Heel!

He's fetching! Drop it!

Drop it, Max! Drop it!

Tom, what do we do now?

Run!

Run!

- Whoa! F***.

- We gotta shoot!

No, Max!

- No!

- F***!

Oh!

Bob! It's freezing!

- Hold up! Hold up!

- One thing I've learned studying people.

Bravery and stupidity aren't

mutually exclusive traits.

In fact, you might argue

they're one and the same.

Bob! Oh! Bob!

Hey. You're zoning out again.

I want to go to the hospital.

Visit the one who was shot.

Oh, come on. Come on. We're

behind schedule already.

Besides, the case is closed.

You didn't learn anything.

Correction. We learned he had

a history of military surplus...

car accidents, and he's a second child.

Just like Emile Travers.

Hey, you just hate the fact

that the rookie solved the case.

- Hey! Who found the fish?

- You fell.

It's not like you thought, "I'm gonna

lie down and look for fish in the trees."

- You fell.

- Fine, yeah, I fell. Falling.

Something you wouldn't have thought to do...

because you're too chickenshit to

go out on the ice in the first place.

Laughing is not objective.

Before, these Darwin cases

werejust a puzzle to solve.

Now I was connecting them to names and faces.

I wasn't satisfiedjust studying

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes