The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes Page #3

- Right.

- Let's go.

Easy now.

Take it easy.

What a slave driver.

Yeah, if he'd been in charge

of that Russian 5-year plan,

they'd have made it.

You know, it's

a great idea doing

something for the school,

but next time

let's do something easy,

like hijacking

a Cuban airliner.

Yeah.

Okay, boys,

now we need number 126.

Professor, can we just

take a few seconds off?

My back's killing me.

Oh, sure.

Take as much time as you want.

Uh, Dexter, there's a box of

tools in the back of my car.

Would you get that

for me, please?

Sure. Right away,

professor.

Good.

- Dean Higgins.

- Good morning, Dean.

- Good morning, Dean.

Hi, Deano.

Oh, hello, there,

Dean Higgins.

Nice of you to visit us.

Of course, we're not

really set up here yet,

but very soon.

Heh heh.

"Dear Dean Higgins,

first of all,

"I would like

to congratulate you

on your splendid

student delegation."

Well, that's wonderful.

I see.

[Clears throat]

Uh...

[Mumbling]

"And you will understand

"that since we have made

such a valuable donation,

"we must withhold our yearly

cash contribution.

Yours in the interest

of higher education,

A.J. Arno."

Well, this... this is

a dreadful mistake, sir.

You can say that again.

And I'm gonna tell you

this much, Quigley...

in the future, I'm gonna be

watching them.

But you can't blame

the boys, sir.

Why, i-it's Mr. Arno

who's acted in bad faith.

Oh, good faith, bad faith,

who cares?

They've cost this school

$20,000.

Well, not altogether,

Dean.

We still have

the computer.

Oh, shut up!

Higher education.

Hey, pretty great

about the computer, huh?

You know,

I don't like to brag,

but if it hadn't been

for the fact that I

used to work there...

Him I'm gonna watch

most of all.

Well, what's he gonna be

watching me for?

The elements of a computer

are input, memory, control,

arithmetic and logic,

and output.

And I think we can see,

demonstrated from these charts,

that man has done

a rather admirable job

of imitating the human brain.

And, uh, even though

it's an imitation,

in many ways,

the machine we've developed

can operate more efficiently

than we can ourselves.

Now, in the past

couple of weeks,

I've been, uh, working

on a small experiment,

uh, which is intended to show

how we can be replaced

by a computer.

Hey... this may be a way

of getting rid of Dean Higgins.

We live in hope, Dexter.

[Laughter]

[Clears throat]

Now, let's suppose

that your parents are going away

for the weekend,

and they leave you

the following instructions...

"If it's raining tomorrow

morning when you wake up,

"you are to close the windows,

"open the door

and let the cat in,

phone the grocer

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