The Christmas Eve Page #2
Season #9 Episode #4- Year:
- 1999
- 93 Views
- I can hardly wait.
Finally!
Look at him go!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
Excuse you for what?
I don't feel very good.
- I feel better now.
- A chocolate chip!
Sweetheart?
Mind if I cut in?
Don't stop believing
Up and down the boulevard
I am a little Christmas angel!
Hey there, my sweeties.
Would you like the father
Yeah?
The children were nestled
all snug in their beds,
- while visions of sugarplums...
- Were you tellin' 'em
That's the best Christmas story ever!
- I'm the best teller ever!
- Cassius...
I got it committed
to memorization!
- Gather round!
- Cassius! Wait!
I'm supposed to tell
the Christmas story.
'Twas the night before Christmas
and I spent all-day
Finishin' up on my Christmas display
Now, missin' all this
would be nothin' but tragic
So just follow me
and I'll show you the magic
Now, out in the yard
in a glorious clutter
make your heart flutter
With 20-foot cheese balls
and a big eggnog fountain
And yodelin' elves
on an ambrosia mountain
jump, leap and prance
And honor the day
through interpretive dance
But just when you think
the display is complete
The Christmas parade
comes right down the street
With holiday floats
all in silver and blue
With sugarplum fairies
and a reindeer or two
There's a baton-twirling
snowman all happy and perky
Magical peacocks
and a dancin' roast turkey
And right when you think
that you've just seen it all
Comes to a huge waffle Santa
that's 50 feet tall
Ho, ho, ho!
With syrup and butter
the sight just amazes
As it's flanked by a choir
all singin' his praises
- Cassius.
- Santa?
- Cassius!
- Santa!
Cassius!
Very inappropriate, pal.
Please, allow me.
Oh, Baitman, what's
your sidekick name?
- Plumber Wonder.
- Oh, he's not with us.
He's up against some sort of
"The Penguin Insuperable".
In my homeland, we tell
a very different stories
of Santa Nicholas.
He's not made of waffles.
This Santa was suave
He was nothing like that
The Santa I know was
a hot Plumber Wonder.
He was dressed all in a plumber
from his head to his wonder
A truth Lazarus... Claus
The black is his boots
- And so is his cape
- D'oh-duh!
His Baitarang is a cane
that tastes like crab cake
and a white and red L symbol
And there's a cute plumber thing
which hangs down from his hat
I have shamed myself.
- D'oh-duh!
- All right, everybody,
if you leave now,
you can beat the holiday traffic.
Choeng with all your
sunshine and lollipops!
Where I come from,
Christmas is a nightmare.
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"The Christmas Eve" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_christmas_eve_24240>.
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