The Charge of the Light Brigade Page #5

No use decanting it.

You can leave it on the table.

Thank you.

Couleur de Noir.

You are drinking beer, sir, porter beer.

- No, my lord.

- Yes.

- No.

- See it.

No, my lord.

Don't you "no" me. That is a black bottle.

I assure you, my lord.

That is a black bottle,

and you are drinking porter from it.

Champagne only.

In point of fact, I asked Capt. Nolan...

- You knew that!

- I am not aware.

I am aware

you are drinking porter at my table.

Sit down, Capt. Nolan.

Sit down, Featherstonehaugh.

What his Lordship said was that

champagne only would be drunk...

...in the mess tonight. What he said...

It is not porter, it is Moselle, my lord.

Apologize.

If I am in error...

Error? Don't quibble with me, sir. Beer.

I will not have beer drunk in my mess.

Come back, Nolan.

Nolan, you will not leave the mess. Dog!

Devil upstart.

Impertinent Indian dog devil.

As President of the Mess Committee,

what Cardigan would have me say is...

...you are guilty of disorderly behavior.

What you should consider in the future...

...is that the mess should be conducted

like a gentleman's table...

...not a common ale house

with black bottles.

That is an offensive thing to have to say...

...to have said, one officer to another,

in front of brother officers.

Do you not know that, unlike a farmer,

a gentleman decants his Moselle?

He doesn't drink it like beer.

If you cannot behave like a gentleman,

you are to leave the regiment.

Will you shake hands with me, sir?

- There is no quarrel between us.

- You will.

I will not, my lord.

- You flagrantly insult this officer.

- No insult is intended to this officer.

Shake hands, damn you.

You shall be arrested.

Why shall I be arrested?

I shall have you arrested.

You are arrested.

Go to your quarters, sir, and be arrested.

Have you seen the Times

this morning, Raglan?

I have seen the Times, Airey.

"Black bottle."

I'm very worried about the British army

when it gets into the newspapers.

Whatever Lord Cardigan does

is public news within an hour.

- It is unfitting.

- "Black bottle."

- What?

- What is shouted at him when he goes out?

Lt do bring the army up for snooks,

you know.

Vulgar things.

Shouldn't say these vulgar things

at him, Airey.

But what can we do?

Where are they going to

put that statue, Airey?

Lt can't stay there,

to be enjoyed by me alone.

They won't leave it there.

They don't know where to put it.

It's very much in my light

for paperwork, Airey.

I wish they'd take it away.

You and I are always of the custom,

when in difficulty, to ask ourselves...

...how the great Duke would have acted

and decided in similar circumstances.

We are. I am. I will.

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