The Change-Up Page #27

Why can't I be a professional,

successful woman

who sleeps with

someone she just met?

You know?

I haven't heard

a word you said

since you took

your pants off.

Shirt.

Shirt.

You smell like lemons.

(LAUGHS) I do

smell like lemons.

Oh, God, you're nervous.

I like that.

Your leg is shaking.

That's not my leg.

Take off my bra.

All Of it?

Just the parts

covering the breasts.

That's a good start.

(DAVE GRUNTS)

Oh, that's great.

At the end of the day...

Holy sh*t!

...I am just tired of

over-thinking things.

I'm tired of

over-thinking things, too.

We should just do

what we want to do.

Let's do it.

Let's just do it.

FLEMMING:
The only thing Dave

loves more than the law

is his beautiful wife, Jamie.

Their life is

like a fairy tale

made even more perfect by their

three adorable children.

(DISTANTLY) So, as we celebrate

one partnership tonight...

Look, Daddy,

it's you and me.

(INDISTINCT)

...would bring most

men to their knees,

but not Dave.

He excelled on all fronts,

putting the rest

of us to shame.

I didn't earn this.

The /aw may be the first

thing on Dave's mind,

but his family has always been

the first thing in his heart.

What should we do

with each other, Mitch?

Oh, God, everything.

(LAUGHS)

We could...

Is that a...

Is that a many-spotted

skipperling?

Yeah.

Mmm.

You can have

whatever you want.

What do you want to do?

I want to go home.

What?

I want to go home.

What? I don't...

I got a meeting.

I got to go.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)

Lockwood residence.

Where is Dave?

Dave is at the country club.

They made him partner.

(CARS HONKING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

FLEMMING:

A brilliant attorney,

loving husband,

devoted father.

It is my distinct honor

to introduce to you,

our newest partner,

David Lockwood.

Way to go, Dave.

Congratulations, Dave.

You deserve it.

This is not my life.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

ls she kissing

the wrong guy?

I know it's weird.

Just go with it.

We tried to tell you.

You ready to take a piss?

You bet your ass I am.

I love you, pumpkin.

(EXHALES)

(HORNS BLARING)

Are you sure

this is the address?

Yeah, this is the place.

You got to be kidding me.

Oh, wow.

Jesus Christ, it's like the

whole city is in here tonight.

Okay, let's just do this.

Come on.

How are we supposed

to get this done?

You just be super cool...

(BOTH UNZIPPING) ...

and don't draw attention to yourself.

Why aren't you peeing?

I got a lot of

people around me.

Don't yell at me.

I'm all locked up.

No one is even looking at us.

We're fine.

Mommy, that man is

peeing in the fountain!

(ALL MURMURING)

Oh, my God.

The cat is out of the bag, buddy.

You got to go now.

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