The Benchwarmers Page #4

---

you put Jerry McDowell in his place.

That was no big deal.

Well, unfortunately for all of us...

...Jerry's in charge of

the baseball league for the county.

Hey. Are you the kid

that got farted on earlier?

Yes. This is my son Nelson.

He's become the fart magnet

for the neighborhood bullies.

I also get a healthy smear

of animal turds twice daily.

When I was your age, Fairy Jerry

dumped a bucket of dog poop on me.

His son just did that to me

last week.

I tried to talk to Jerry. He just laughed

and gave me a titty twister.

Guys like that don't realize

the damage they're causing.

I couldn't agree more.

By the way, thanks for hitting

Kyle Wilson in the chest with the ball...

...then letting me rip one

right in his mouth earlier.

It was one of the best days

of my life.

This car is so radical.

Looks just like K.I.T.T.

From the show Knight Rider.

It is K.I.T.T. From Knight Rider.

Watch this.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm K.I. T. T.

Who are you?

I'm just one of those nerds

who grew up...

...to make billions.

Maybe I'll see you guys

around sometime.

It was a pleasure to meet you all.

Easy, Mel.

I have yet to perfect the peel-out.

- It was fine.

- No, no, no. That was cool.

- Yeah.

- Chicks were checking you out.

Try not to destroy me

completely, Mel.

Hey, honey, I'm home.

- Where have you been?

- I was with Clark and Richie.

I am on an ovulating schedule.

You were supposed to be here at 6:00.

I thought you meant

Central Mountain Time.

Did you mean

Pacific Standard Time?

- Why would you think that?

- Because you're from Colorado.

Don't you ovulate

according to where you're born?

Gus, that's just weird.

So from now on,

it's Pacific Standard Time.

Pacific Standard Time.

I'm all over that, baby. I love you.

Check out this mitt. It's all black.

I look like a Borack warrior

from the Captain Mighty series.

Well, get a load of Mega Mitt.

Hey! Hey! What the...?

Watch it!

Clark? Richie?

I hardly recognize you clowns

without underwear on your head.

Brad. You have really

not slimmed down.

Oh, eat me.

So I heard from Jerry you tools

think you're athletes now.

I didn't know "athlete"

had three syllables. "a-tha-lete."

That's "ama-za-zing."

You think you're hot sh*t

because you know words.

Why don't you be a stud

and point us toward the register.

Or "register-er."

My team practices today at 5.

Swing by if you she-men wanna lose.

You can't handle the truth!

- Bring it!

- Suck it!

Gus!

Gus!

He can't hear us.

Hey, fellas.

- You okay, Richie?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Just purple nuts.

We just had a run-in with one of our

old bullies at the sporting goods store.

- What happened?

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote