The American Astronaut Page #3

"I wouidn't even touch you," said Mr. Stevenson.

So when the boy agreed, he presented him with|a photograph of the young man's fianc...

at a bacheior party, on some guy's tabie,|f***ing herseif with a beer bottie.

As tears fiiied the young man's eyes,|Mr. Stevenson was heard to say...

"Hurts Donut."

A few years iater Mr. Stevenson got a job|as a saies cierk in an eiectronics store.

Within a year, he was caught steaiing|and immediateiy incarcerated.

When he asked his ceiimate if he wouid iike|a Hurts Donut, his ceiimate said "Yeah"

So he gave him a Hurts Donut.

Overthe years Mr. Stevenson grew too oid to|hospitai.

One day he asked the new nurse if she|wouid iike a Hurts Donut.

In anticipation of her response, Mr.|Stevenson began humming...

whiie making smacking noises with|his mouth.

When the nurse smiied and said, "i|know about you Mr. Stevenson,"

Mr. Stevenson biurted out something|totaiiy incoherent...

and began to iaugh.

I've never understood this joke.

But then i've never been to Earth.

Aii right. Aii right. Gentiemen, iet|the dance contest begin.

Love is a fiipping roiiing riddie.

Love is a smiiing when you the giggie|of those angeis.

Giggie when they know you're smiiing.

Love is rotting in an open fieid.

Love is smiiing at the happy way you feei...

when you know you're smiiing.

So how can you keep on smiiing...

when you see yourseif in the mirror|smiiing?

Just about to say the name of the giri|that makes you smiie.

Love is thinking of when you die.|When she hears your name mentioned...

she starts to cry.

She'ii remember you smiiing.

Love is iiving in a magic iand.|Love is thinking...

of the day she'ii hoid your|hand...

And you'ii both be smiiing.

So how can you keep on smiiing|when...

you see yourseif in the mirror smiiing?|Just about...

to say the name of the giri that|makes you cry.

Let's go.

What about your boys overthere?

They'ii be sitting this one out.

One, two, three, four.

What did he say about me?

What did he say about me?

Who are you?

You know, you are so square.

I guess that i am.

So what did he say about me?

I don't know what you're taiking|about.

You stand there with that trophy and you|teii me you don't know what i'm taiking about?

Excuse me.

You sit at the bar and you taik and you iaugh|and you teii me you don't know what i'm...

...taiking about, huh?|- Do not touch me.

Don't touch you? I can touch you.

I can touch you whenever i want.

Guess what?

It's my birthday.

Did he teii you it was my birthday?

Are you going to sing Happy|Birthday to me?

I want you to sing Happy Birthday|to me.

I said i want...

i got work to do.

This one's a keeper.

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