Thank You For Smoking Page #5

Now you know who taught me that?

No, sir. Who?

Fidel Castro.

Do you remember 1952?

Well, sir, I wasn't alive in 1952.

Good Lord, I was in Korea

shooting Chinese in 1952.

Really?

Today they're our best customer.

Next time we won't have to shoot

so many of them, will we?

No, sir.

Reader's Digest

nailed us with

the whole health aspect.

As Churchill said,

that was perhaps the end

of our beginning.

Tell me,

do you enjoy your current work, Nick?

Yes, sir.

It's challenging...

If you can do tobacco,

you can do anything.

Yes, sir, I like that.

You know, Nick, you remind me

just a little bit

of myself when I was your age.

Well, thank you, sir.

Like that Joan Lunden show you did.

You could have given up,

cried, apologized,

but you didn't.

You stayed loyal.

And you gave it

to that son of a b*tch good.

My pleasure.

Now, BR's come under the idea

that we should start bribing

producers in Hollywood

to make the actors smoke on screen.

You know, like in the old days.

Say, that's, uh...

that's a great idea.

Mm-hmm.

Smart man, that BR.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And loyal.

Yes, sir?

Have a seat, Ron.

You, see, Ron, I can't be

everywhere I'm needed.

That's why I send

people like you

to speak on my behalf.

When you're there,

you're not Ron Goode,

the guy your friends probably like,

you're Senator Finistirre's aide,

and your name really doesn't matter.

So, when

Ron Goode acts

like a complete a**hole

on the Joan Lunden Show,

I am being an a**hole

on the Joan Lunden Show.

Senator, sir, he sprang on me like...

Where in the hell

did you find cancer boy?

He was supposed to be quite reliable.

The Pulmonary Council

was one of his references.

F***ing nonprofits.

When you're looking

for a cancer kid,

he should be hopeless.

He should have a wheelchair.

He should have trouble talking.

He should have

a little pet goldfish

he carries around

in a ziplock bag-

hopeless.

I apologize, sir, but if it wasn't

- for Nick Naylor...

- Nick Naylor?

Don't you even think

of using him as an excuse.

The man shills bullshit for a living.

You work for a f***ing senator.

A senator who is supposed

to be tough on tobacco.

Have a little... pride,

for God's sake.

It won't happen again, sir,

I promise.

All right, you're excused.

Sometimes I feel like

a Colombian drug dealer.

The other day, my own granddaughter,

flesh of flesh of my own loins,

asked me, "Granddaddy, is it true

cigarettes are bad for you?"

We got to do something, Nick.

I think you're our man.

Thank you, sir.

I want you to work

on this Hollywood project.

Get out there the next

few weeks, stir things up

and report directly to me.

Sir, about the,

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