Tenure Page #3

Larger themes at work.

I really like your class.

Thank you, Robin.

It's, like, the best class

I have at Grey.

It's a great group

of kids.

Except Ben.

[Laughs]

Do you think I'm fat?

Of course not.

Why... Why would you

say that?

This guy...

This a**hole...

Look, Robin...

Heh.

You're a very...

Attractive girl.

All right?

So don't let anybody

tell you otherwise.

Okay?

Do you have a girlfriend?

Um, no.

Not right now.

Don't you get lonely?

I... Yeah, sure I do.

I mean, just like

everybody...

So do I.

Yeah.

Well...

I should go find

Professor Hadley.

But it was great

talking to you.

And, uh,

I'll see you Monday.

Hi, Stan.

How you doing?

Can you drive me home?

Nope, gotta go.

Jay!

Jay!

Come on, man!

JAY:
Up here, man.

Jay?

JAY:
Up here, man!

Come on up, man.

It's unreal.

JAY:
I've spent days

up in trees...

Waiting for Bigfoot.

That's great, Jay.

Should we

head home now?

What do you think?

It's about the passion,

you know?

Yes. Passion.

You think Steve Kim

ever spent four days

in a tree?

Probably not, no.

And he got tenure.

Yeah, it's, uh...

It's messed up.

Passion isn't enough

anymore.

That's what's

messed up.

It's not about

the classroom.

It's not about

the kids.

What do you think

my chances are?

For tenure?

Yeah.

Dude, you're running

unopposed.

I haven't published

anything in over a year.

Can we focus

on my sh*t-storm here?

Yeah. Sorry.

I'm 42 years old.

I'm sitting in a tree.

You seem so sober now.

What happened to

"touch my face"?

I'm pretty sure it was

just dyed aspirin.

Placebo, man.

I'll tell you one thing...

That sh*t-stack

just flunked Anthro 101.

Guarantee it.

WOMAN:
Mr. Thurber,

may I have a word?

Professor Slocumb,

how are you?

Myself and the rest of

the female faculty

Would very much

appreciate it

If you would please

lift the toilet seat

When you urinate in

the faculty restroom.

What are you

talking about?

I always do.

So, are you telling me

That the puddle of urine

I just sat in

Was not yours?

Yeah. I mean, no.

It, uh...

It wasn't mine.

It wasn't my urine.

I watched you

leave the bathroom.

I swear,

I put the seat up.

Maybe...

Maybe when

I flushed it,

You know, maybe

it sprayed up.

No, no.

It was urine.

And it looked to me

like you aimed directly

At the toilet seat...

And just pissed...

Willy-nilly...

Without a care

in the world.

I don't piss

willy-nilly, all right?

I'm fairly accurate,

And I always

put the seat up.

Don't let it happen

again, Thurber.

Hey. I didn't do it.

Way to go, fire hose.

A pledge of $50 is

all we're asking for.

Show us your support

And call the number

on your screen.

[Dialing]

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