Tenure

Synopsis: At a Pennsylvania college, Charlie Thurber is a good teacher without publications. His tenure review is in three months, and he's trying to get an article in print. Out of the blue, the dean announces that a new assistant professor will join them, a scholarly young woman from Yale. Charlie now faces competition. His best friend Jay, an anthropologist looking for Sasquatch, urges Charlie to declare war on the new colleague. He gives in to his better judgment and goes along. Meanwhile, his father hates the local assisted living facility where he lives, Charlie tries to connect with a woman he sees on television, and one of his students makes a pass. Is tenure in the works?
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mike Million
Production: 120db Films
  2 wins.
 
IMDB:
6.1
R
Year:
2008
89 min
10 Views

[Whoosh]

MAN:

Assistant Professor Thurber,

First, on behalf

of the tenure committee

And Grey College,

I would like to thank you

For your services

these past three years.

Thank you,

Dean Leakey.

CHARLIE:
12 years

teaching college.

Up for tenure again...

A job for life.

Before this, there was

Bowdoin and Union.

This may be

my last chance.

Friggin' Grey College.

Motherfuckin'

Grey College.

Hi.

Hi.

Dude!

Where you been?

Sorry.

I'm almost up.

I know.

What do you think?

Maybe... lose the shades?

My Oakleys?

No way, man.

Okay.

Nervous?

What do I have to be

nervous about?

It's only my entire

academic career

on the line.

Of course I'm nervous,

jack-off.

Steve Kim's been

in there two hours.

Really?

Okay, just remember what

I told you, all right?

Not the end

of the world

If you don't get this.

Yeah, well, if you

don't get tenure

At Grey College...

[Clears throat]

MAN:
All right,

good-bye.

Steve.

Steve.

Shake it off, okay?

Whew. I got a good

feeling about this.

You're a great teacher.

Professor Hadley?

The tenure committee

is waiting.

[Whispers]

Great teacher.

JAY:
Hi, everyone.

[Indistinct chatter]

CHARLIE:
Oh, hey, guys.

Where's Dr. Hadley?

You just missed him.

We made cookies

and everything.

Oh, that's nice.

May I?

[Clears throat]

Oh, yeah.

So, that's Bigfoot?

How can I just get

one vote?

One vote out of 12.

That's a joke.

I wonder who

voted for you.

I mean, I really thought

I had a chance.

Didn't you?

I thought you were a lock.

What has Steve Kim

ever done

For the anthropological

community?

Steve Kim... come on.

I mean,

I produced evidence

Of a genuine Sasquatch.

[Tape plays]

There! Look.

Right there.

Yeah.

You come over here

and tell me

That that is not

the hind leg

Of an Appalachian

Sasquatch. Seriously.

I just don't see

anything, Jay.

I'm sorry.

What?!

It's right here, man!

That looks like

a tree.

It's not a fuckin'

tree, Charlie!

Come on!

It's Bigfoot!

[Sighs]

I saw him.

I was there.

I'm the guy

runnin' the camera.

It's right here.

Sasquatch weather, man.

Look for tracks.

Where are we going?

Relax, man.

It's my party,

remember?

I just thought

it was gonna more

of an indoor thing.

Dude.

Roll with it, okay?

Sorry.

I just got dealt

a hammer blow to the nuts.

I know, I know.

Besides, it's not like

you got anybody

Waiting up for you.

Why did you have

to say that?

Just tell me where

we're going, Jay.

Dean Leakey's.

Why?

Come on!

CHARLIE:

It is with great pride

That I look back on

the last three years

at Grey College.

I strongly believe

that I deserve tenure,

And through this

personal statement,

I hope the committee

will get to know me

A little better...

My accomplishments,

My dreams, and my myriad

contributions

To the academic community

at Grey College.

Huh?

"Myriad contributions"?

Okay, we're gonna start

a new novel this week.

It's called The Magus,

By an English writer

named John Fowles.

Anybody heard of

The Magus?

No? Well, some people...

Smart people...

Think it's one of the best

novels ever written.

Then how come we've

never heard of it?

I... I don't know, Robin,

But if you all would like

to read the same books

That every other college kid

in America is reading,

We can do that.

Let's see, uh...

Catcher in the Rye.

Yeah, let's examine why

"F*ck you" is written

Is written on

the bathroom wall... again.

No, look,

I pick the books I read

Back when I was like you...

Misguided, morose...

You're still morose.

Anyhow, The Magus.

You all might not

have heard of it,

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