Ted 2 Page #3

I won't tell anybody...

that Jay Leno comes in here

for gay bathroom sex.

Hey, what the f*** are you doing?

- Get off of me!

- Sorry. My mistake.

There we go.

Thanks a lot.

Come again.

- Hey.

- Hello.

I'd like to ask a few questions

about this breakfast cereal.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Box of Trix.

That's right.

I've been led to understand

that Trix are exclusively for children.

Is that correct?

I mean, they say,

"Trix are for kids" in the commercials.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

And is that enforced by law?

Not to my knowledge, no.

So if I purchase these Trix,

there'll be no trouble?

No.

No, you should be fine.

You do understand

that I myself am not a child?

I-I was able to sniff that out,

yeah.

Okay, I'm going to bring these

back to my apartment.

Yeah, yeah.

You'll be okay.

And, uh,

I won't be followed?

Uh, no, that's not

in our budget here.

Hey.

I won't forget what

you've done for me here today.

I would prefer that you do.

Jesus Christ.

You two still not talking?

No. Honest to God, Joy,

I don't know how to fix this.

How the hell do you take a broken

marriage and make it work again?

Well, I'll tell you one way.

You have yourselves a baby.

- A baby?

- Uh-huh. Look at that.

You see them two white niggas

over there?

Yeah. What?

Look at 'em.

They're so happy.

Because they got

that little baby keeping them together.

If they didn't have that baby,

they'd just be two sad-ass white niggas

waiting for "Downtown" Abbey to come on.

Wow, you said it twice.

Is that an actual phrase?

I'm telling you, Ted. Y'all better

have a baby or your marriage is over.

Trust.

- Uh, hey.

- Go away, Teddy.

Tami, listen.

I just wanna talk to you.

Will you just

listen to me for one second?

Why? So you can give me sh*t

about my clothes?

No! Look, I'm sorry about that, okay?

I'm sorry.

- I was an a**hole, and I didn't mean it.

- You know, whatever, Teddy.

Tami, listen.

I love you.

Okay? And I don't want us to fight like

we've been doing the past few months.

I don't know, Teddy.

Something's got to change, you know?

Because I can't do this no more.

It's too much.

I know, I know, I know.

And that's why...

I wanna have a baby.

You do?

Yeah.

A baby?

Like, really?

Yeah. See, I think,

if we got a kid to love...

it'll teach us how to love

each other again.

Oh, my God, Teddy.

You better not be

messing with me.

I swear to God,

not messing with you.

I think you'd make

an awesome mom.

Oh, my God!

Are you kidding me?

I would, like,

kick so much ass at mommin'.

What do you say?

We all good?

Yes! Oh, I love you!

I love you so much!

Baby, I love you too!

Let's make a baby!

Let's make a baby!

Lemme know when you're ready to go,

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