
Ted 2
1
We are often told...
that happily ever afters exist
only in the pages of fairy tales...
and in the naive minds
of sheltered innocents.
And yet, on this bright,
sunny Boston afternoon,
to marry his girlfriend,
proving two things:
Happy endings can come true
for anyone,
and America doesn't
give a shit about anything.
Do you, Tami-Lynn McCafferty,
take this teddy bear to be
I do.
And do you, Ted, take this woman
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Fuckin'-A right, I do!
Then, by the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bear.
Thank you, folks!
We're gonna take a short break
and pass things over to DJ Nightshade.
Ladies and gentlemen,
your newlyweds!
Teddy, this is
the best day of my life.
I just love you so much.
I love you too, baby.
I'm gonna go 50 shades
of bear on you tonight.
- Let's go get shit-faced.
- Okay.
Celebrate good times
Come on
Thank you.
Let's celebrate
There's a party goin' on
right here
- Hey, congrats, you mofos.
- Oh. Hey, Guy.
- Beautiful ceremony.
- Oh, thank you so much for being a part of it.
Hey, this is my new boyfriend,
Rick.
- How you doing?
- Good, good.
He's a gourmet chef,
so he knows how to toss a salad.
Rick and I are actually
about to tie the knot.
Oh, you guys
are getting married?
No, we're just gonna go home
and tie our dicks together.
F*ck you. F*ck you.
Deal.
It's electric
No! No!
I said no Electric Slide!
Goddamn it, you will not
wreck this night...
with your forced
It's electric
Do you remember
The 21st of September?
Love was changin' the minds
of pretenders
Hey, buddy. You okay there?
You look a little down.
that hangover from the bachelor party?
Oh!
That's nice.
Oh, my God.
She's totally begging.
Get it. Get in there.
Look at her.
She wants it bad!
Oh, yeah. She wants more
than just a fucking pizza delivery, huh?
That's bigger than the
average bear right there, I'll tell you.
You know what's fucked up?
Dude, that's somebody's
fucking daughter!
Shit! Jesus!
Come on!
You know what, Johnny?
It's entirely possible it's his daughter.
That's how
it works out there.
I'm fine. I was... thinking about Lori.
Oh, Johnny,
come on, man.
It's been six months
since you guys got divorced.
I know, I know.
It's just that...
Being back in
that church again?
I mean, everything seemed like
it was gonna be so perfect.
Yeah. You're not the first guy
Hey, listen, don't let her drag
you down tonight. Okay? This is a party.
I'm sorry, buddy.
I don't mean to mess up your big day.
What? You kiddin'?
You're not the one messing it up.
Check out Tami-Lynn's
asshole brother in the wheelchair.
If you don't dance with me,
you're a monster!
Watch it,
you fuckin' tool!
Hey, hey!
Big day, huh, bud?
You guys wanna celebrate
with a little something else, hmm?
Oh. No, thanks, Sam.
Tami-Lynn would kill me if
I did drugs on our wedding day.
Aw, she won't notice.
I just did a line with a dude
in the men's room,
and I bet you can't
even spot him.
Yeah, I'm gonna pass.
Hey, hey, what do you say we do
the thing, huh? That'll cheer you up.
F*ck it. Let's do it.
There he is!
Attention, everyone.
May I have your attention, please?
Johnny and I have prepared
something very special for you here.
Let's have it, fellas.
When you hear the sound of
thunder don't you get too scared
Just grab your thunder buddy
(3.71 / 7 votes)
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Ted 2" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 7 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/ted_2_19455>.